Lamar Smith (R-TX) doesn't take Scott McClellan too seriously.

Neither does his toupée.

"Forget Scott McClellan. If you want to know the truth

about the Bush Administration, this is the book to read."

"Bernie Kerik says writing unflattering memoirs about working

for the President should be a crime. He thinks Scott McClellan's

disloyalty is sickening. Well, speaking only for myself, if Bernie

were my master and I weren't a dog, I would be disloyal, too."

Scott McClellan is like the engineer who blew

the whistle after the train was wrecked.

Bob Dole OD's on Viagra, Unloads on McClellan

According to current and former officials in the Bush 
Administration, the Scott McClellan who resigned as 
press secretary in April, 2006, is not the same person who 
wrote What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and 
Washington's Culture of Deception. That person is a mole
 from the Left Blogosphere who happens to look exactly
 like the real Scott McClellan.

"Oh, that's the McClellan Heron after the birds of his feather

stopped flocking together."

In his memoir, What Happened, Scott McClellan aptly

describes the role of the press secretary during the years

of the Bush Administration: “I had allowed myself to

be deceived into unknowingly passing along a falsehood.”

Aboard the press plane on the way back from Orlando,

outgoing press secretary Scott McClellan served up a

tray of cookies that had been baked by his wife. While

several reporters said they looked yummy, nobody ate any.

"Yes, it would be fair to say that the most informative

statement I ever made as press secretary I made today

when I said, 'I resign'."

As Scott McClellan made his resignation announcement,

the President thought, "This guy has been a better

unspokesman for me than Ari ever was."

Someone has condensed everything Scott McClellan

said to reporters over the past couple of years into just

two words: "Bite Me!"

Andrew Card is gone and Scott McClellan

is gone. When the man in the middle goes,

we will have hit the trifecta.

Fireman McClellan could see that the firestorm

over 'the biggest sand toilets in the world' was

getting out of control.

"There is a difference between declassifying and leaking.

When a reporter goes to the john, he leaks. When the

President goes, he declassifies."

Even as a small boy, Scott McClellan honed the

skills he would use later as a spokesman for

President Bush.

"My mother, Carol Keeton McClellan Rylander Strayhorn,

has been married so many times that only

this index finger is biologically related to her."

Asked what she would do if one of her daughters

were raped and became pregnant,

South Dakota Senator Julie Bartling replied:

"Like Scott McClellan, I'm not into hypotheticals."

"Calm down, Dave.

I just washed my hands in Pilate's washbowl,

and they are now completely clean.

See."