The Secret to John Boehner's

Preternatural Tan

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #72

Brent Bozell and Robert Stacy McCain

Brit Sues Baker for Mouse Found in Loaf;

"I Ordered a Badger," Man Says

Segway Owner Segues into Afterlife

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #67

Sisterhood of Mommy Patriots

Oh, goody!  The Obama Administration wants to make it

easier for the CIA to friend you on Facebook.

"The Obama administration is drawing up legislation to

make it easier for US intelligence services to eavesdrop on

the Internet, including email exchanges and social networks,

The New York Times said Monday."  Now, this should really

ignite his base!

Is God omnipresent?  Well, He's not called the
Universal Peeping Tom for nothing.

"Steroids?  Hell, if I hadn't taken steroids,

do you think I could even spell it!"

"Ma'am, do you have any idea why five

birds are perched on your hat?"

"Of course I do.  It's because the

sixth bird backed out at

the last minute."

Jesus had always dreamed of touring the Yucatán Peninsula.

Finally, it seemed, his dream was coming true.

 "Do you have any idea why we're called 'Great Tits'?"

"Beats me!"

"Call me Mr. Brown, Mr. White, because your days of

hegemony on this planet are numbered."

John Hawkins and Tabitha Hale decided to put their

heads together. So they did. They weren't any smarter

 as a result, but no one could deny that their heads were

definitely together.

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #71

Jason Mattera, Michelle Malkin, Jim Hoft,
and Robert Stacy McCain

"Yeah, Mitch, I'm a Lantern-Jawed Democrat and Rand Paul

is a Mini-Pecker Party-Candle Republican, just like you."

"What's that?"

"It's the United States Senate preserved in amber."

"How long has it been that way?"

"Ever since the Senate stopped debating,

the resin set in,

and fossilized."

"That, Captain, is Planet Landfill."

"And what exactly is a 'Landfill', Corporal?"

"Well, Sir, it's a euphemism for what archaeologists

call a 'Midden' and what was called, up until quite

recently, a 'Garbage Dump' or 'Trash Heap'."

"Are you suggesting, Corporal, that it would

be unsanitary to invade this planet?"

"Yes, Captain, that's what I'm suggesting."

One of the Many Reasons Jonathan Klein Was Fired as

President of CNN

New 'Emergency Bra' Doubles as Surgical Mask for

In-Flight Dental Prophylaxes and Adenoidectomies