E. W. 'Wide Awake' Jackson Demands to See 

Harry Reid's LDS Identification Card

For the fourth time since 1956, the residents of

Portland, Oregon have voted to foil the con-

spiracy to sap and impurify all of their precious 

bodily fluids.

"You're cute and all, little darlin', and I know you're

hungry, but like the Bible says, 'The one who is unwilling 

to work shall not eat'.”

Warm Scuzzies #398

Tim Cook

More Tornadoes from the Global Warming Hoax? 

Nobody Knows!

World's Worst Yobs #287

Christopher Bedford

Malkin Dairy Breed Best Known for High Yield 

of Clabbered Milk

It didn't take long for the world to realize that Tom

Coburn was nothing more than a run-of-the-mill

street thug.

"The reports that I have become a zombie are

somewhat exaggerated."

Mark Amodei (R-NV) Sez:  "While I'm happy to give

up my taxpayer-subsidized health insurance, I would

ask that everyone keep their distance and not breathe

any germs on me."

"Honestly, do I look stark staring mad to you?"

Rand Paul Says 'Damning IRS Memo' 

Hidden Under Bigfoot's Party Hat

"Where is he?"

"Far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife."

It's official:  Mt. Everest is now the world's 

highest landfill.

Warm Scuzzies #397

Jonathan Karl

The Jackass Whisperer

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #499

Pete Santilli

"Take it from me, folks:  'Aquafresh Iso-Active Lasting 

Impact Head-to-Toe Whitening Paste' really works!

Be sure to try our recipe for kickin' Hindu Skewers!

Rightbloggers and Other 

Internet Biohazards #137

Cranky Hermit