Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick Sez:  “We’re a nation founded 

upon not the words of our founders, but the words of God

 because he wrote the Constitution.”

These bulletproof shields are for protecting cops,

 not kids.

At 72, Dan Patrick's head is tough as shoe leather.

Texas Lieutenant-Governor Dan Patrick Cancels Personal 

Appearance at NRA Convention in Houston, Will Send 

His Avatar Instead

Dan Patrick Has an Idea

"Six mass shootings have occurred in Texas during Governor

 Greg Abbott’s 7½ years in office. He has offered prayers 

and condemned each."  They also make him sad.

When Ted Cruz, Greg Abbott, Ken Paxton, and Dan Patrick

sit side by side, you know the State of Texas is about to be

skull fucked.

Texas Tag Team

Texas Wants 'Don't Say Dan Patrick' Law

This is the same Republican who said last year

that 'there are more important things than 

living and that's saving the economy'.

Grim Reaper Tells People to 'Stop Whining' about 

COVID-19 Deaths

Dan Patrick thinks you are a Neanderthal if your

first name is Hunter.  Texas's Lt.-Governor should

do stand-up.  

Welcome to the GOPer Hole!

Imagine Texas as a giant flying saucer with 

Lieutenant-Governor Dan Patrick at the wheel.

Adventures in Aestheticism #252

It's like the Neutron Bomb:  it kills people but

it leaves their property intact.

Texas Lieutenant-Governor Dan Patrick,

the Light-Hearted Reaper

Texas Lieutenant-Governor Dan Patrick Sez:

"There are more important things than living."

The Five Stages of Dan Patrick's Grief

1. "I'm not dead."

2. "I'm getting better."

3. "I feel fine."

4. "I think I'll go for a walk."

5. "I feel happy, I feel happy!"

Like Wonder Bread, Soylent Green helps build 

strong bodies 12 ways.  Just ask Dan Patrick.