Ted Cruz holds degrees from two Ivy League 

universities and is married to a Goldman Sachs 

executive.  He lives in a 4,000-square-foot house

 and spends $23,000 a month on private security.

'Loudest megaphone', indeed!

Ted Cruz, Champion of the Blue-Collar Worker,

Spotted with Spouse at Kentucky Derby

This was Ted and Heidi Cruz five years ago.  You can

imagine what they look like today after the Great

Sunny Cancun Debacle.

Ted Cruz says that no one has been as tough on China

as Donald Trump, even tougher, apparently, than he was

 on Ted's wife, Heidi, in 2016.

"Believe me, Senator Cruz, you're lucky Trump only dissed 

your wife. Other husbands haven't been so fortunate."

And with a right elbow to his wife's face, Ted Cruz

rang down the curtain on his race for the GOP

presidential nomination.

"Lucifer's sexual prowess is legendary for a reason."

“Who’s my li-i-ttle baybee? Are you my littlee baybee? 

Yes, yoooo are!”

"Can I help it that when I wear this shirt, it makes my 

whole family sad?"

Trump Spills the Beans on Cruz's Wife

Heidi Cruz Slips the Bonds of Earth to Adore the Surly

 Face of God

How to Kiss an Undertaker

In Ted Cruz's universe, you get to kiss your wife

on the lips only after having your third child.