Jim Cramer Masters the Slinky

After Senator Warren unsexed two male CNBC anchors

live and on camera, Jim Cramer said, "Balls?  Who

needs 'em?!"

Jim Cramer is apparently one of those middle-aged men who

 believes hair at the bottom of the head distracts attention 

from its absence on the top.  Sorry, Jim, but it only makes 

your nob look even nuder and reminds us of the old 

adage, "Hair today, gone tomorrow."

Remember this jerk? Well, while there's a lot to be said
in favor of a good memory, sometimes it's better to forget.

“Andrew Cuomo’s about confiscation — genuine communist.
The Chinese are capitalist, we got a communist.”

"Damn you, Tucker Carlson, damn you, damn you, damn you!

Just when I was beginning to recover from the ass-kicking I

received from Jon Stewart, here you come rushing to my

defense, giving the impression that the only friend I have,

besides Richard Cohen and Jeff Zucker, is a Dancing with

the Stars loser like you."

You always knew when Jim Cramer flashed the Sign

of the Cuckold, investors were being screwed by

Wall Street behind their backs.

"Well, Jim, I bet that'll be the last time Poppin' Fresh

mocks you the way Jon Stewart has. Pound him again,

just for me! Flattening the Pillsbury Doughboy:

it's a good thing!"

Before he appeared on The Daily Show last night,

Jim Cramer said: ''Limbaugh -- whom I do not

know personally, but having been in radio myself,

know professionally as a genius of the medium -- says,

'They're going to shut Cramer up pretty soon, too, but

he'll go down with a fight'." Well, Rush lied: Cramer

went down all right, but without a fight. Here, for

example, you see him pleading, "Pretty please,

Jon, with sugar on top, give me my balls back!"

Jackass Accusing Jon Stewart of Being a Comedian

Still Life with Hoser and Hosiery

Thirty years ago, Kramer vs. Kramer won five Academy

Awards, including Best Picture. But it's looking more and

more like it will be eclipsed in 2010 by Stewart vs. Cramer,

which is still in production.

So many people get it wrong. It's not money that's the root

of all evil. It's not even the love of money that's the root

of all evil. It's Jim Cramer's love of Jim Cramer.

Of all the Mad Money men on CNBC, Jim Cramer

was in the best position to be added to the Obama

Administration's 'Enema List'.