"This is not a cage match!" Ted yelled as he slammed the

moderator's head into the turnbuckle.

"Shush!  Listening to women makes my brain hurt!"

"Sorry, Mr. Santelli, but from the time you call 'the best five

minutes of my life' until now, it would be impossible for you

to have been more wrong."

After Senator Warren unsexed two male CNBC anchors

live and on camera, Jim Cramer said, "Balls?  Who

needs 'em?!"

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #27

Andrew Ross Sorkin

"I've noticed that the reaction to my on-screen rants

 has fallen off of late, so I've decided to supplement 

them with some really irate shadow puppetry."

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #418

Joe Kernen

World's Worst Yobs #257

Joe Kernen

Jim Cramer is apparently one of those middle-aged men who

 believes hair at the bottom of the head distracts attention 

from its absence on the top.  Sorry, Jim, but it only makes 

your nob look even nuder and reminds us of the old 

adage, "Hair today, gone tomorrow."

World's Worst Yobs #219

James Pethokoukis

“The human toll in Japan," said the Neutron Bomber, "looks

to be much worse than the economic toll and we can be

grateful for that.”

World's Worst Yobs #142

Darren Rovell

World's Worst Yobs #140
John Harwood

World's Worst Yoobs #48
Maria Bartiromo

Remember this jerk? Well, while there's a lot to be said
in favor of a good memory, sometimes it's better to forget.

Utilizing the new 'fast-track option' for canonizing
saints of the church, Pope Benedict has just named
Rick Santelli as the Patron Saint of Teabaggers.

“Andrew Cuomo’s about confiscation — genuine communist.
The Chinese are capitalist, we got a communist.”

Charlie Gasbagarino

"CNBC's Mark Haines says people who make
less than $250,000 a year--that's 98% of
Americans--aren't smart enough to run a
Wall Street company well. Judging by the mess
we're in right now, those who make more than
$250,000 a year wouldn't seem to be smart
enough, either."

You always knew when Jim Cramer flashed the Sign

of the Cuckold, investors were being screwed by

Wall Street behind their backs.