Ruja Ignatova, the Bulgarian Crypto-Queen, is picking up

where the Nigerian Email Scammer left off.

After he leaves the White House, Trump may

be thinking of a new reality television show,

'The Confidence Game'.

If you've ever been to Slidell, Louisiana, you understand

how Michael Neu could be a Nigerian prince.

Halliburton dropped $250 million to keep

him out of a Nigerian prison.  Will it now

cough up another $787,000 to plant a new

heart in Dick Cheny's chest?

 "Did someone just say that Halliburton paid the Nigerian

government a $250 million bribe to drop bribery charges

against me?"

"Yes, it was Dr. Zaius, the thinking-man's ape."

"That's one mighty smart monkey!"

Dick Cheney couldn't believe Nigeria had agreed to drop the

bribery charge against him for only $250 million, instead of

the original asking price of $500 million.  It was clear the

Cheney Bubble had burst.

When asked if she had to choose between keeping her father

out of a Nigerian prison or receiving $500 million tax-free,
Liz Cheney replied, "Like that famous ethicist, Jack Benny,
once said, 'I'm thinking it over'."

Halliburton Trying to Decide If It Should Spend $500 Million to
Keep Dick Cheney Out of a Nigerian Jail; "It's a Toss-Up,"

Insiders Say

The Smoking Gunner

,
Nearly _____ (Fill in the Blank with Either 'Scores', 'Dozens',
or 'Hundreds') Die in Nigerian Religious Clashes

Halliburton, the world's second-largest oilfield-services

provider, has agreed to pay $559 million in taxpayer

dollars to settle federal charges that employees bribed

officials in Nigeria while former Vice President Dick

Cheney was CEO.

Even when he showed his I.D., everybody still believed

he was Don Imus' first cousin once removed.

Peter J. Akinola, the Nigerian cleric who is now the archbishop

of the breakaway conservative Episcopal churches in the

United States, explains to his subordinates how to pronounce

'archbishoprick'. "The accent, brethren, is on the 'ultima'.

In other words, the emphasis falls on the last syllable."

Authorities say that former

Liberian warlord and President,

Charles Taylor, was captured on

the Nigeria/Cameroon border today,

disguised as a Homo sapiens.