What Happens WhenYou Put On Your Makeup

and Get Dressed in the Dark

MC Rove Performing "Big Booty Hoes Been

Rappin' My Rap Sheet"

"Not only that, Chris, but if you've seen Last Best Chance, you

know I have experience playing a President who combats

terrorism. Not even Ronald Reagan could say that when

he ran for President."

If you intend to keep $206 million in small bills at home,

you'll need to consider adding a room.

That's when the crowd roared in unison, "We'd rather

watch Surya skate naked than wear fur!"

"Hmmm," mused Svetlana Ganina. "This must be what

Kant called the 'ding an sich'."

Baby Snookums Held Hostage by Rogue Politician

Notorious P.I.G. Hamming It Up at Correspondents Dinner

After licking the monster Cane Toad, this resident of Darwin,

Australia, said: "See, nothing to it, he's not such a toughy."

"The Straight Talk Express seems to have run out of gas.

Does anybody have the number for AAA Roadside Assistance?"

Senator McCain Credits Iraq Surge for Making It

Safe to Hunt and Fish in Baghdad Neighborhoods

Filipino President Slaying Colossal Strawberry Monster

If your bill were cold, wouldn't you do the same thing?

"Good morning, Goldie!"

"Good morning, Goldie!"

"How are you doing?"

"Fine."

"How are you doing?"

"Fine."

"See you later."

"See you later."

"Bye!"

"Bye!"

"I may be small, but I can talk your ear off."

Visonary Entrepreneur Selling Sweets to Sour Cops

Michael Phelps Wins World Freestyle Splashing Competition

China's Renowned Synchronized Prison Dining Team in Action

Henry Kissinger has finally encountered a law even he

cannot break: the Second Law of Thermodynamics.

Ethanol Guzzler Helmet

"There are neighborhoods in Baghdad today where you and

I could walk safely. To name just one, there's Mr. Rogers'

Neighborhood, especially when you're on Sesame Street."

World's Worst Yobs #4

Glenn Beck

Egyptian Head of State Taking It Easy

China's President Hu Jintao couldn't understand

why the Russian soldiers were so snooty.

Do the people who make mortar shells ever have bad

dreams about little boys on a Baghdad street?

"That's Lady Kia to you, you candyass mofo!"

This protester believes his disguise is so effective

his own mother won't recognize him.

Monica Goodling had been warned against drinking the

Koolaid. But she was confident her Ralph Lauren Tee would

counteract any adverse side effects.

World's Worst Yobs #3

Michael Savage

The drag coefficient of a baby lemur is 2.1, which effectively

prevents the mother from making an unassisted takeoff.

Mother Trying to Get Her Ducks in a Row

Couchless Potato

Tired of thinking inside the box, the young man

tried to think outside the box. But he couldn't.

Khaled Meshaal Watching Fox & Friends on Wingnut TV

Kyle Sampson swore he was beginning to see

right through Alberto Gonzales.

Maribel Dominguez Shown the Yellow Card for 
Titty Pinching

World's Worst Yobs #2

Sean Hannity

There was no denying Rafael's dance partner was a real dog.

World's Worst Yobs #1
Rush Limbaugh

Time to take another stroll down Mammary Lane.

"Then Liddy tells me if I keep acting like Le Frottageur, she

is going to start playing 'Hide the Viagra' again. Has Barb

ever had to play that game with you, George?"

Blue Chinese Jumping Frog Not Jumping

Paleontologists announced today the discovery of the fossil

remains of a new dinosaur species, Albertoceratops gonzalesi.

The discoverers say this species probably became extinct as a

result of chronic forgetfulness, until, one day, it apparently

forgot it existed.

The Eschaton began when Jehovah started opening the
Universe like a Ziploc Bag.

President Bush Denounces 'Political Theater'

While Standing on Stage of Political Theater

Even in her new Mikimoto tiara, YMI Jeans, and Ritmo

Mundo watch, Miss USA looks vaguely second-hand.

Seeing this fan kneeling at the feet of Ronaldinho,

do you still doubt soccer is a major world religion?

Cricket players who lose are often discarded like gum wrappers.

Leong/Tsang, the Hong Kong Pushmi-Pullyu