For some reason, 'From Blunt to Sessions to Vitter'
never quite had the cachet as 'From Tinker to Evers
to Chance'.

And then there's David Miscavige, the Big Enchilada of
today's Church of Scientology, who makes L. Ron Hubbard
and Dianetics sound like the second coming of Plato and
his immortal dialogues.

The Day Bambi Got Tasered

When will those who Twitter come to their senses and realize
that a 140-word-limit is much too long? Fearguth is looking
forward to the day when the attention span of the American
people will be so short that a one-word caption to a photo
of Dean Esmay being nuzzled by Z, his pet ferret, will be
considered the height of verbosity.

Sure, deploying the Green Lantern to Afghanistan won't
come cheap, but since American taxpayers will already
spend $65 billion over there this year alone, probably
no one will notice.

The story out of Washington is that only 'a handful of
Republicans' voted to confirm Sonia Sotomayor as a
Supreme Court Justice. If you're having a hard time
imagining 'a handful of Republicans', perhaps this
photograph will help.

"And if you are among the first 500 to subscribe
today, we'll include a 2-lb. tank of laughing gas and
a balloon with Megan McArdle's picture on it-----
ABSOLUTELY FREE!"

The Unexpurgated Bible #23
"But of the Tree of Cigna, thou shalt not eat of it: for in
the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die."

Two Nuts

Two More Nuts

Word on the street is that zombies have been
moonlighting as teabaggers, and vice versa.

Been waiting for a worthy cause you could
really put your heart into?

Young America's Foundation spokesman Jason
Mattera says his favorite song is 'I Could Always
Eat Your Brain'.

George Paz, Chairman and CEO of Express Scripts,
has sent an email to all his employees, encouraging
them to oppose health care reform. That's not at all
surprising, given the fact that his total compensation
in 2008 was $12,774,367. If you were making that kind
of dough, would you want to change the status quo?

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #64
Todd Akin

Think of how much health care Cigna had to
deny its customers in order to pay $12,236,740
in 2008 to its CEO, H. Edward Hanway.

Former U. S. Representative William Jefferson (D-LA)
has been convicted on 11 counts of defacing $90,000 in
US currency by keeping it frozen beyond the use-by date.

Did you hear the story about the clown
who ate the canary?

Stop laughing at the way Donald Kagan looks!
You'd look the same way if you were a
neoconservative and your children were
named Frederick, Robert, and Kimberly.

Having lost the ratings battle with Two Dudes
and a Webcam, Mouthpiece Theater has been
cancelled. Asked to comment on this hard-
earned reversal of fortune, Dana Milbank said,
"It's a brutal world out there in the blogosphere.
I'm often surprised by the ferocity out there, but
I probably shouldn't be."

Two thousand years later, first-century Birthers
were still demanding to see the long form of the
Son of God's birth certificate.