Nancy Pelosi ripping up her copy of Trump's

State of the Union address is just like Trump

flushing classified documents down the toilet.

Just ask Mark Meadows, Trump's Chief of

Analogies.

Trump Eating Sensitive Document After Cohen Meeting

Famous Papers

Spoil Sport

Like the Spanish Inquisition, nobody

expected the Corncob Lobby.

When the lemmings jumped off the cliff, their fall was

 cushioned by 40-pack bundles of toilet paper.

During the Great Toilet Paper Panic of 2020, 

no corncob was safe.

He hadn't been diagnosed with the coronavirus

and he didn't quite understand the link between

the virus and toilet paper, but he wasn't taking

any chances.

If you're this close to your toilet paper, 

you're too damn close.

Extremely Stable Genius Promises Farmers Mega Rolls of 

Toilet Paper Emblazoned with Trump-Faced One 

Hundred-Dollar Bills

Trump Makes a Distinction

Trump Boards Air Force One, Cracks America Up with

Toilet-Paper-Stuck-to-Shoe Gag

“In the name of the Quicker Picker-Upper, 

I command Hurricane Florence to cease its 

forward motion and go harmlessly into the 

Atlantic."

Charlie Kirk wants everyone to know what TPUSA stands for.

Comfort for Where Trumpniks Want It

"Behold," saith the Water Strider, "I bring unto 

thee the Quicker Picker Upper."

Trump's New Book

Kiss Those Hemorrhoids Goodbye

Headlines We Like to See #18

'Lawyer Makes Trump Toilet Paper to Benefit 

Deported Immigrants'

Trump Issues New Executive Order Regarding the Ap

That Has the Worst Job in the World