Pat Robertson Sez:  "I think you can say, well, Putin's 

out of his mind, and yes, maybe so. But at the same time 

he's being compelled by God. He went into Ukraine, but

 that wasn't his goal. His goal was to move against Israel, 

ultimately."

At 91, Pat Robertson's power to pray away

hurricanes is waning.

Worm Blamed for the Failure of Pat Robertson's

Prayer Engine to Reverse the Outcome of the

Presidential Election

Adventures in Aestheticism #214

Pat Robertson's new book is based on

88 years of first-hand experience.

“In the name of the Quicker Picker-Upper, 

I command Hurricane Florence to cease its 

forward motion and go harmlessly into the 

Atlantic."

With the aid of Pat Robertson and his patented 'Shield of

Protection', Donald Trump has re-routed Hurricane

Florence so that it will make landfall in Elizabeth 

Warren's backyard.

Superannuated Yoda Impersonator Blames Nation's Ills on 

Disrespect for Jedi Knights

"Donald Trump, you inspire us all!"

According to those in the know, there used to be 26 Signs 

of the End Time.  Pat Robertson endorsing Trump is now 

number 27.

According to those in the know, there used to be 26 

Signs of the End Time.  Pat Robertson wearing 

makeup is now number 27.

If, as Pat Robertson says, drinkers and pot smokers are 

'enslaved to vegetables', what about vegans, like Adam 

and Eve?  Did God not plant a garden in Eden, grow in

 it plants that were good for food, and say, "Of every 

tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat?" 

"I agree, Donald, that the Oscars are a joke. Selma didn't 

even come close to winning Best Picture!"

"Pull my finger, O Lord, pull my finger!"

What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #14

An Aberrant Life-Form

If you were to attend a church where Pat Robertson was

preaching, you would probably want to be fully-armed

to improve your chances of getting out alive.

"I wrote a book, I wrote a book, Donald. It's called The End

 of the Age and it deals with an asteroid hitting the Earth.  

It could happen next week.  So, if you don't hurry up and 

find Obama's Kenyan birth certificate, it may be too late."

Garden Gnome Says Jesus Told Him Asteroid Could 

Destroy Earth Next Week

“A few years ago the psychiatrists, the psychologists

 used to say that homosexuality was a mental illness,  

Now, the Supreme Court has said that we have a 

right to be mentally ill.  Like me, for instance.”

"Is, uh, ... Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, 

know whatahmean, nudge nudge, wink wink, know 

whatahmean, say no more?"