Rather than feed 4,000 with seven loaves and a few small

fish, as Jesus once did, Trump would have taught them

how to fish.

Boy Jesus was a mischievous child.  His first

miracle was turning Play-Doh into an AR-15.

Jesus Sez:  "I hit a 5-iron, which sailed magnificently

 into a rather strong wind, with approximately 5 feet of cut, 

whereupon it bounced twice and then went *clank*, into 

the hole.  What a miracle!"

Jesus walked on water.  You can walk on Holy Water.

No Miracles. No Mercy. No Redemption. No Heaven. 

No Hell. No Higher Power. Just Fatman.

God Not Too Keen on Wonders, Either

Someone needs to take Trump's temperature, for it

is evident he suffers from a fevered imagination.

Trump Casting Out COVID-19 Demon

It's Time for a Miracle!

Fish always hated it when Jesus walked on water.

Leonardo da Vinci Fined $500 for Social Distancing

Violation

Since Trumpniks regard him as the Chosen One, why 

doesn't Trump simply cast out the coronavirus the 

way Jesus cast out demons?

Jesus Squeezes the Charmin, 

Turns It into Quilted Northern

Who, O Lord, Will Heal the Healers?

From the Infancy Gospel of Mogen David

George Washington and the Miracle at Philadelphia

Want to walk on water like Jesus did? For only $1,425, 

you can with a pair of Jesus Shoes.

The Gospel of Jesus's 13th Disciple, 

the Great Physician

Not even Jesus could heal a moral leper like Mitch McConnell.

"Behold," saith the Water Strider, "I bring unto 

thee the Quicker Picker Upper."