"When you say someone is 'a pain in the neck',

Ma Pang, what exactly do you mean?"

Mao Zedong's Great Leap Forward Toward Walmart

Now Believed to Have Cost the Lives of
45 Million Chinese

"Omigod, here comes another guy who thinks he's Jesus!"

Too late, the old man realized that an Adjustable-Rate

Burial was not a good idea.

"Welcome to Tattoo Mart!"

"I pledge allegiance to the Forbes 400 and

to the plutocracy for which it stands,

one multinational, under Mammon, with

corporate welfare and tax cuts for all."

"All that meat, and no potatoes

Just ain't right, like green tomatoes

Yeah, I'm waiting

Palpitatin'

But all that meat, and no potatoes."

I Remember Dubya #39

"Gosh, what on earth do you hunt with
a .50-caliber blowgun like that?"

"Yeah. I think it would be extremely naive of us, Mr. President,

to imagine that these new developments are going to cause
any change in Tea Party expansionist policy. I mean, we
must be increasingly on the alert to prevent them from
taking over more Congressional space, in order to breed
more prodigiously than we do, thus, knocking us out in
superior numbers when Americans vote in the 2012
presidential election. Mr. President, we must not allow
an enthusiasm gap!"

Oxymorons for Our Time #63

Dead Heat

Are Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin ruining
narcissism for the rest of us?

Who among you was surprised to learn that the Republican

Party's 'A Pledge to America' was authored by a lobbyist

for AIG, ExxonMobil, and Pfizer?

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #223

Tim Walberg

"Ladies and gentlemen, would you please welcome

the Brothers Grim!"

Fearguth has never bought a lottery ticket in his life.

Is it because he is opposed to gambling? No.  It's

because he's afraid he might win.

What do you call candidates for public office who refuse
to debate their opponents, who refuse to hold press
conferences, and who refuse to appear on Sunday
morning talk shows? If you're polite, you call them
'Fraidy Cats'. If you're impolite, you call them

'Chickenshits'.

Iranian President Joins Forces with American 9/11 Truthers;

Are Birthers Next on His List?

Joe Miller Big Favorite with Alaskan Musket-Worshippers

World's Worst Yobs #182

George Neumayr

Scientists Uncover Skull from Horniest Dinosaur

Ever, Speculate It May Be Fossilized Remains of

Penisaurus Erectus