Darrell Issa, Cleverly Disguised as Ronald Reagan,

Disembarks from the Escalator of Tears

When he was called a "flagrantly partisan and majestically

 useless government watchdog," Darrell Issa's anger alarm

went off.

'Probe Fails to Link IRS Scandal to White House' is a gift you 

will not find under Darrell Issa's Christmas tree this year.

Jason Chaffetz Sez:  “I have the greatest respect and 

admiration for Congressman Issa, but I don’t intend 

to be Darrell Issa-like.”

[That's like saying, "I have the greatest respect and

admiration for Christ, but I don't intend to be Christ-like."]

"Professor Gruber, are you stupid?"

"Congressman Issa, are you a car thief?"

"Your doctor says unless you have an emergency 

Benghaziectomy, your balls will beat a hasty

retreat up your inguinal canal."

"She says you would be even scarier if you changed

your last name from 'Issa' to 'ISIS'."

Has Darrell Issa gone rouge?

With so many Congressmen like Darrell Issa around, how

could there possibly be a clown shortage?

"What's that?"

"That's one of Congressman Issa's pet

Payday Loan Sharks."

And then there was the moment when Congressman Darrell 

Issa learned that, despite the Steal Stopper car alarm 

which had made him a multi-millionaire, someone had 

stolen his

Peel P50.

"No, no, no, you got the pronunciation all wrong!  It's

Ben-ˈgä-zē, not Beng-ˈhä-zē."

There are 'paid liars', like Jay Carney, and then there

are 'overpaid liars', like Darrell Issa.

"Since so many Americans believe Benghazi is a city

in Cuba, Darrell, maybe it's time we played the anti-

Castro card."

Darrell Issa Explaining the Difference Between

'An Act of Terror' and 'A Terrorist Attack'

[It's like the difference between an 

'Asshole' and an 'Issahole'.]

"BenghazA!"

"BenghazE!"

"BenghazI!"

"BenghazO!"

"BenghazU!"

[Vowels are the sounds Darrell Issa makes during sex 

to express his pleasure.]

Darrell Issa doesn't have Bette Davis eyes, but he comes 

close to having Angelina Jolie lips.

Build Your Own Douche Kabob

"'Issahole?'  Who said that?"

"Would whoever left Representative Issa's head at the 

podium please put it back in the veggie bin where it belongs?"