"Yes, I'm exiting from the antiwar stage. But don't you think

for a moment Cindy Sheehan wasn't one of the pioneers

who helped lead America up from the lowland of war

toward the highland of peace. Got that, Bushlicker?"

"See the guy over there with all the gray hair and glasses?

That's Richard Cohen, columnist for the Washington Post.

He's the one, you remember, who said you are a 'neoliberal'

and a 'sentimental softie'. Pardon my French, Mr. President,

but I know a douchebag when I see one."

Kissing is difficult for parrots

and polar bears,

because they don't have lips like Angelina Jolie.

Baghdad Police Commandos Marching to a Tune by the Village People

If you can't hear what this guy is screaming about

the Iraq War, you must have pushed the Mute button

on your remote.

“God has spoken to me,” Tom DeLay says. “I listen to God,
and what I’ve heard is that I’m supposed to devote myself 
to rebuilding the conservative base of the Republican Party 
before every living thing is destroyed by the Great 
Democratic Flood.”

"Yep, Grandpappy, them durn gas prices are skyrocketing

all over the place!"

CAT Scan Proves Leopard Is Member of Feline Family

No doubt about it. It's Mika Kano, whose latest hit is

'Osusowake - Purupurun no kyu no bon', a song whose

title translates into English as 'Wobbly Tits, Tiny Waist

and Bouncy Hips, Let's Share Them All Around'.

Cheese Lovers Go Arse Over Tits in Pursuit of

Seven-Pound Wheel of Double Glouchester

German Riot Police Brace for Demonstration of Affection

Wingnut Watchdog Barks Up Wrong Tree Again;

Owner Admits: "This old bitch is gone in the teeth."

"So what if Stoicism makes you level-headed and unbiased!

I still think Existentialism makes me more authentic!"

A slump in the landscaping market has left

many garden gnomes unemployed.

World's Worst Jobs #42

Indonesian River Skimmer

He got so sick and tired hearing people use the cliche

"step up to the plate," Frank Thomas decided to take

action. So he stepped up to the plate and just stood

there, glaring at the crowd with a look of withering

contempt.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Dick thought, "your applause for

my commencement address here at West Point is about

as genuine as this kewpie doll you gave me for winning

Tip the Tombstone, a fucking carnival game!"

Nightmare in Black and White

Drudge Report Funnies #6

"Medical experiments to be done without patients' consent..."

For some unknown reason, the Israeli border policemen

broke into song, performing a chorus of 'Y. M. C. A.'