Election Day was just a clever ruse. Here is how

the next President was actually chosen.

Weak Economy, Cash-Strapped Donors, Angry

God Cited as Factors in Focus on the Family's

Decision to Lay Off 202 Employees

Because of the inescapable time delay between an event

and her perception of it, Patty knew she was fated to live

in the past, forever terrified by the fuzzy yellow sphere

ingressing into the present on its way to the future.

Would somebody please invent a new term for an

ad hominem political attack? Even Vicki Iseman

believes 'smear' is older and more worn out than

John McCain.

Does anybody know if the AP's 'Sprinkles' Sidoti

went down with Senator McCain? If not, why not?

Another casualty of the economic downturn has been

the demand for Joe the Plumber t-shirts. Maybe some

entrepreneur will seize the day and make a fortune selling

them as gag gifts at next year's Netroots Nation convention.

"Well, Cindy, we still have your $100 million to keep

us from grieving too hard, while Barack and Michelle

have to console all those whose lives have been

upended by the Bush Administration train wreck."

Huckabee Unloads on Romney and Thompson

GOP Leadership Divided on Which Direction to Take

the Party

Horsefly Eggs Shortly Before Hatching

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #10

The Nude Wanker with One Black Shoe

The Church Militant

Pope Finally Reaches Warp Speed

Young Mangalitza Porker Takes Strong Exception to John

Cole's Use of Phrase, 'Pig Ignorant Religious Nuts', Says

Pigs "Pretty Damn Smart, Oink, Oink!"

As Bugs Bunny would say, "What a Moran!

Will ya get a load of this maroon?"

World's Worst Yobs #60

Jamie Kirchick

They've now counted 66,738,562 votes for Barack Obama.

Well, if his presidency doesn't turn out as hoped, we know

who to blame, don't we?

Will President Obama have to hold hands with King Abdullah?

"Give Daddy a little sugar!"

What's worse, someone had pried the gun from his cold dead hand.