It is comforting to know that bipartisan power couple

Mary Matalin and James Carville have 'totally retired'

to a $2 million condo in New Orleans.

The Immaculate Re-Conception of Mary Matalin

"I'm not a Republican for a party or a person. 

I'm now a registered Weimaraner."

The Unexpurgated Bible #132

"But Mary Matalin looked back on Meet the

 Press, and she became a Pillar of Gallstones."

CNN Leaving Carville, Matalin

Someone needs to remind Mary Matalin that these pubic

 lice are parasites,

not these human beings.

Mary Matalin Sez:  “There are makers and takers, 

there are producers and there are parasites.” 

[Sounds familiar, doesn't it?]

On the Internet, there is smut to suit most

every taste, except for those pornoisseurs

 who might fancy a candid photograph of

Mary Matalin's 'Secret Weapon'.

It took a while, but most people finally agreed that

James Carville's bald head would look better with

Mary Matalin's hair on it, and vice versa. Also, that

both would be more attractive with beards.

"I once witnessed an experienced big man slap a

professional female colleague across the face

because she was ugly, and no one thought

anything of it, especially me, since I was much

uglier than she was and, besides, I was married

to James Carville."

"Obama has to get mad," James Carville says. Well, maybe.

But he needs to keep in mind that Obama doesn't enjoy the

advantage of having Mary Matalin around the house all day

to keep him non compos mentis.

"Would it be fair to say, Ms. Matalin, that God created you

because no one else on Earth would marry James Carville?"

Mary Matalin Found Guilty of Editorial Malpractice; Former

Cheney Aide Sentenced to Memorize Jerome Corsi's Doctoral

Dissertation, Prior Restraint, Prior Punishment, and Political

Dissent: a Moral and Legal Evaluation

If you've ever wanted to gawk at Mary Matalin's ass

before she had a butt lift, here it is.

James Carville and Mary Matalin couldn't contain their grief

when they learned the Fourth Amendment had died.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Getting It On:

That's Erotica!

James Carville and Mary Matalin Holding Hands:
That's Pornography!

Unlike Pinocchio, Mary Matalin's nose 
doesn't grow when she lies. Her ears do.

"Oh," replied Ms. Matalin, "on one of his good days,

it's about this long when fully erect."

How Lady McCheney Gets Her Stuff

Suddenly, Mary understood what James was

referring to with all his 'dickweed', 'rod parsley',

and 'johnson grass' jokes.