If men who masturbate have Hairy Palms,

do women who masturbate have Hairy Nails?

Knowing what causes Hairy Palms, it's easy to guess

what causes Hairy Nails.

Swiss Army Nails

Texas Mayor's Nails Marked 'Manicured'

Imagine getting your hair cut by a barber who 

is standing six feet away.  Imagine getting your

nails done by a manicurist who is sitting six feet

 away.  Imagine getting a massage by a masseuse

who is situated six feet away.  Deborah Birx is

a very silly person, isn't she?

Trump Steps Down from the Cross to 

Show His Stigmata

While waiting for her nails to dry, Meghan McCain defended

Joe Biden from 'ageist crap', called one of Donald Trump, Jr.'s

tweets 'disgusting' and 'racist', and complained Democratic

candidates in the debates spoke too much Spanish.  This is

called 'Hypomanic Multitasking'.

Self-abuse in men causes Hairy Palms.

Self-abuse in women causes Hairy Nails.

HHS Secretary Nominee Alex Azar Explains How 

He Kicked His Nail Biting Habit

Not until you scrape your fingernails across a blackboard

do you get the sound of Sarah Palin's voice just right.

"Honey, the nail tech is here for your pedicure."

Jeb Bush Sez: "I eat nails when I wake up!" 

[That's what the Bush family calls 'nail biting'.]

'On this Easter Sunday, never forget that Cruz means 

'Cross' and that I have the stigmata to prove it."

Woman Scoffs at the Mere Idea of a 

Band Calling Itself 'Nine Inch Nails'

"Hey, Hermano, check out our server's French-tipped nails!"

Bachmann Again Vows $2 Gas, $5 Manicures

The little Afghan felt that Onychophagia was the

least of his worries.

Man Holds Giant Butterfly Hostage Until a Licensed
Nail Technician Gives Him a Gentleman's Manicure

Man Pays to Nail Woman Metaphorically,
She Nails Him Literally Instead

"Is that a fact! I have mine done at Nails by Tommy."