Schopenhauer as Optimist

The Pessimistic Theory of History

David Brooks Gets Soaked to the Skin by All the 

Existential Rain Falling Down in America Today

The Pessimist believes everything is getting worse

and worse.  The Optimist believes everything is

betting better and better.  Gin and Tacos splits

the difference: Everything is terrible all the time.

"Is that all there is to life, Donald?"

"Pretty much."

Early reports indicate tonight's acceptance 

speech will be dark and dystopian.  

This sounds like a job for Schopenhauer!

Marco Rubio Endeavoring to Become the GOP's Most

Optimistic Prophet of Doom

Doctor Gogol Sez:  "Optimism is overrated.

Yes, it improves persistence but not

performance."

"So much space debris!" laments the Earth Day Pessimist.

"So many satellites!" sings the Earth Day Optimist.

If you have a tendency toward despair 

during the day, only read The Great Big

Book of Horrible Things at night.

"'Twixt the Optimist and the Pessimist

the difference is droll.

The Optimist sees the donut,

the Pessimist sees the hole."

Unfortunately, by the time Mighty Mouse showed 

up to save the day, it was already night.

Attention, Fellow Schopenhauerians!

We dodged the solar flare.  Things are

looking relatively good right now.

New Study Shows Pessimists Live Longer than Optimists

and Get the Last Laugh

Schopenhauerean Gets Chilly Reception at

Local Optimist Club

Pessimist

Optimist

"Pardon me, ma'am, but would you say, like the optimists, 

that it's partly sunny in the Constitution today, or would you 

say, like the pessimists, that it's partly cloudy?"

"Either way, still piss," says the Pessimist.

There are optimists, like Roy Edroso, who say, "Perry is

George W. Bush minus 20 IQ points."  And then there

are the pessimists.

If your glass is half full and your neighbor's

is half empty, do everything in your power

 to empty his half into yours. That way, at

least somebody will have a full glass.  As

Ayn Rand has taught us, one full glass is

always better than either two half-full

 or two half-empty glasses.