President Clinton was condemned for pardoning Marc

Rich and President Bush is being condemned for not

pardoning Scooter Libby. Damned if you do, damned

if you don't: such is the unhappy lot of Presidents.

After September 11, 2001, the

American public demanded

a more ruthless Christopher

Hitchens. And they got one.

"Sorry, niña, but for some reason,

sombreros are allergic to me."

"And then this Pepsi-like logo appeared with a voice saying,

'Obama Refreshes Everything'. Scared the Bejesus out of me,

and I was only drinking a Jack-and-Coke Zero at the time."

Tian Tian and Mei Xiang Refuse to Mate Until

Panda Cam Turned Off

World's Worst Yoobs #33

Tara Wall

McCain Puts Kibosh on Cindy's Plan to Appear

on Dancing with the Stars; Decision on Buffalo

Chip Encore Performance Still Up in the Air

“The first rule of holes," writes Thomas Friedman,

"is when you’re in one, stop digging. When you’re

in three, bring a lot of shovels.” And, although he

doesn't mention it, the third rule of holes is the

time it takes to get out of a hole is measured in

Friedman Units.

Christopher Hill developed a splitting headache

when he learned that North Korea had

weaponized Pluto.

"Just as you ordered, sir, here's your cheeseburger

with everything."

"Whoa! Do you always eat that fast!"

"It's not my fault there are only

24 hours left in my presidency.

So don't blame me."

One of the babies in this picture needs a diaper change

and one is wearing a hat. Can you tell which is which?

"Of course my fleece is white as snow!

What did you expect this time of year?"

Who's next?

Suicide Firing Squad

"Won't somebody out there please give us some face time?"

"Johnnyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Weissmullerrrrrrrrrrrr!!!"

Standing there above the Rio Grande, Fearguth could

remember tomorrow and looked forward to yesterday.

Which is more bizarre: for Barack Hussein Obama to

be sworn in as President of the United States using

his full name, or for Representative Steve King

(R-IA) to say it's 'bizarre' for him to do so?

At long last, he had discovered the Center of the Universe.

What he was supposed to do with it he had no idea.