Judo Match Ends in a Draw When Contestants

Cry 'Uncle!' Simultaneously

Pommel King Unhorsed

Bony Maroni Starts to Shake, Rattle, and Roll

The hapless soldiers thought the Iraqi was just playing a game

when he yelled, "Go deep, for I am throwing the long bomb!"

"Keeping us up here in Washington eats away at families.

Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families.

That's what their forcing us to work five days a week says."

"Would you believe I read this Iraq Study Group Report faster

than I read My Pet Goat? And it doesn't even have any pictures."

"This looks like a job for Superman!"

The Iraq Study Group tried to bridge the gap between
appearance and reality

by motorcycle jumping,

by snowboarding,

by pole vaulting,

and by using drugs.

But nothing worked, so they decided to refer the problem to 
a team of Mongolian wrestlers.

Buster Martin, still employed full time at age 100, has
been chosen bythe U. S. Chamber of Commerce to be
the poster boy for its campaign to emancipate 
American workers from pension enslavement.

Jenna Bush: One More Inexistent Dubya M.D.

In a clumsy attempt at censorship, the Castro regime has

cropped this picture so that 'IN-' doesn't appear as part of

a sign displayed at this Islamofascist rally in Havana.

Doing its part to help stop the spread of bird flu,

this duck always covers its bill while sneezing.

Jacques Chirac has always liked M&Ms because

they melt in his mouth, not in his hand.

Inexplicably, the new Imelda Marcos line of fashion

accents does not include footwear.

“One of the things I would do if I were President would be to sit

the Shiites and the Sunnis down and say, ‘Stop the bullshit.’

And if they didn't, I'd say it again.”

Baker-Hamilton Commission to Recommend New Strategy

for Dealing with Looming Septuagenarian Shortage in Iraq

In an attempt to boost the approval rating for his

handling of the war in Iraq, President Bush has

reminded the American people for the 36th time

that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi remains dead.

Sepak Takraw: the game you get when soccer,

volleyball, and badminton are combined.

As expected, Borat was treated like royalty in Bulgaria.

"'Tis the last rose of summer,

Left blooming all alone,

All her lovely companions

Are faded and gone."