Picasso's Velocipede

Shouting "Top this, George Washington!", the

North Korean soldier tried again to throw a

silver dollar across the Yalu River.

Recently-Declassified Photograph #2

The Presidential Frisbee

Tony Blair didn't waste any time getting the

hell out of the Middle East.

"Whoa! These aren't black truffles. This is

plain ol' horseshit."

If Saddam Hussein's trial goes on much longer,

he may cheat the hangman by dying from boredom.

"They say it's a 'hammer' and a 'sickle' on that

flag. Do you have any idea what those were

used for?"

"Mind your tongue, Iraqi insurgent! Any more

talk about my tie looking like a barber pole,

and the Prime Minister of Great Britain will

taunt you a second time!"

Sometime in the year 2006, neoconservatives began to

realize their ideas were just hot-air balloons, fated to

fall to earth under a blazing sun.

"Is it true, Mr. O'Reilly, you come from a place where

the sun don't shine, and that's why you're so white?"

Kid Rock has confirmed the widely-circulated rumor that

Borat had come between Pamela Anderson and himself.

"It's true. Borat was able to alienate my affection in a New

York minute. Sheeyut! By comparison, he makes that bitch

look like Sea Hag."

As Senator McCain looked on, the Israeli foreign minister

pointed out to Senator Lieberman where the Halliburton

pirates had buried a treasure chest filled with gold doubloons.

Ask any male canine why he prefers legs to breasts

and he won't tell you. All he'll do is go "Bow-wow!

Woof-woof! Pant, pant, pant!"

Spider-Man ensnares another member of the

Brooks Brothers Gang.

While Honest Joe and Saint John schmoozed with the

Israeli foreign minister, Republican Senator John Thune

was scoping out the babe with the bodacious ta-tas.

The Indian Air Warrior Drill Team was

perfectly synchronized.

Santa Comes in with the Yule Tide

Bananas are the favorite food of Smirking Chimps.

"To show how humble I am, I, a former Secretary of Defense,

will say Donald Rumsfeld was the finest Secretary of Defense

this nation has ever had."

If pigs are so blasted smart, why do they love soccer

just as much as humans do?