Don't Look Up

You don't choose who will be your

father and fate is sometimes unkind.

Was it a twist of fate or personal magnetism?

Flying Fickle Finger of Fate

"I've finally reconciled myself to the fact that I'll be

a Corgi for the rest of my life.  What about you?"

Wouldn't it be dreadful if God, in His Infinite Wisdom,

had decreed that your fate was to be Jack Abramoff?

And not just once around time's sorrowful weary wheel,

either!

"Why was I born in Utah?  Why am I a Mormon?

Why am I a Republican?  Why am I a Senator?

Why am I Orrin Hatch?  Maybe it's freedom. 

Yeah, it must be freedom."

"Niall Ferguson is a fabulist."

"Whew!  For a moment there, I thought you

said, 'Niall Ferguson is a fatalist'."

No matter what costume he wore, he couldn't

escape his destiny.  He was still 'James Lileks'.

"Can I help it that it was my lot in life to write a whole book

 in support of the 'Birther Movement'?  Of course not!

I'm Jerome Corsi, and that was my cruel fate."

Weighing 3,144 pounds and stretching for

230 feet, the Big Enchilada wants you to
know that everything is under control.

If your idea of justice is that John Thain

will someday die for his sins, you are

confusing justice with fate.

What if you had been fated to be Roger Ailes, the

American president of the Fox News Channel,

and knew that Lee Atwater had informed everyone

in the afterworld that you're probably the creepiest

person ever to walk on two legs over the surface of

Planet Earth? Luckily for you, that turned out to be only

a nightmare you had after taking too much Melatonin.

"At first I was upset that my magnum opus, Liberal Fascism,

was classified as a 'Parody' at Amazon, alongside Our Dumb

World: The Onion's Atlas of the Planet Earth and World War

Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War. But when I learned

that this classification had boosted my sales by 35%, I calmed

down and accepted my cruel fate."

"We don't need to see your Visa card. We just need

to know which one of you is the hostage to fate."