Andrea Shea King is scary enough when she's not in

scare quotes, but, in them, she is hair-raising and

blood-curdling.  Well, sorta.

Trump Says His Superior Autographing

Skills Would Solve the Playboy Problem

"More Quickly Than You'd Think"

Dr. Koop Offers Scott Walker

Some Medical Advice

"I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said, 

'Don't be ridiculous, everyone hasn't met you yet!'."

"Relax, John!  That's just the Hand of Israel in your pocket."

CPAC Remainder Bin

Guess who's inside the Purple RINO suit?

"If you got the cookies, I got the hugs!"

"As you can see, my bubble is bigger than your bubble."

Even Mark Halperin's mouth is skewed to the right.

Recently-Declassified Photograph #40

Maggie Thatcher and Bill O'Reilly Celebrating

the British Victory in the Falklands War, 1982

Three on a Match

Two on a Flamethrower

Four Out of Five Muff Divers Recommend

Muff-So-Soft

When he saw he got only 1.1% of the vote in the CPAC 

Straw Poll, Rick Perry realized that he should spend less

 time running for President and more time trying to keep

 his sorry ass out of jail.

Which twin has the Toni?

State Representative Tony Tinderholt (R-TX) is such a 

fan of 'opposite marriage' he's been married five times.

He's also a devout Catholic in good standing.

Warm Scuzzies #535

Tony Tinderholt

"Rest assured, fellow cheeseheads, my project to turn reality 

into a mirror image of The Onion is ahead of schedule and 

under budget."

On immigration reform, Scott Walker is the first

presidential candidate in modern times to perfect 

the Triple Backflip with Full Twist.

Allegories for Our Time #30

Two Angels Play a Game of Adieu, Christie, Adieu! 

to Decide the Fate of a Presidential Hopeful