"I saw on the Internet that for every tankard of beer

you drink, your bust size increases by one full cup."

To be certified as the Prime Minister of Thailand,

you must, while kneeling, pronounce and spell

correctly 'His Holiness Somdet Phra Nyanasamvara

Somdet Phra Sangharaja of Wat Bowonniwet Temple'.

When the Palestinians found the one office building

the Israeli army hadn't destroyed, they promptly

burned it to the ground.

"The only thing we have is fear. And our greatest fear

is the American people will stop being fearful. If they

do, we Republicans are kaput, nada, zilch, nothing.

But if I have my way, that's not going to happen."

All That Remained After the 101st Fighting Keyboarders

Attempted to Invade Iran at Bandar Abbas

Have you seen the new Mark Foley Biodiesel Catheter?

As evidence that the idea of human progress

is a bunch of baloney, the prosecution submits

Exhibit A, Glenn Beck.

When you watch Howard Kurtz perform

on Reliable Sources, you understand why

misanthropy remains a viable worldview.

At age 74, Donald Rumsfeld is old enough to be the

grandfather of many of the men and women he has

sent to Iraq to be wounded and to die. One wonders:

would he have sent them had they been his own

grandchildren?

"It says here, on page two of the National Intelligence Estimate,

that 'If Republicans are protecting Americans from terrorists as

effectively as they are protecting pages from pedophiles,

we're fucked'."

Over 50% of the residents in Idaho, Utah, and Wyoming

approve of the way President Bush is handling his job.

This is a group portrait of some of those residents.

Once you understand why humans strive to

be #1, everything else falls into place.

Most people don't know the Eiffel Tower is portable.

How Hugo Chavez Keeps George Bush From

Invading Venezuela

How apropos the cover of Woodward's new book

is red, the same color as the states which twice

voted to make George Bush President.

On the heels of the Mark Foley scandal, Dennis Hastert

became the first Nonspeaker of the House in U.S. history.

Under the pretext of being 'hair artists', CIA interrogators

were able to extract from the al-Qaida suspect that the

next attack on middle-class values will be on Saturday,

October 7, on a runway at the Musée de l'Homme in Paris.

In January, 2006, Tom Reynolds, National Republican

Congressional Committee Chairman, (1) promised that

the GOP would retain its House majority after November,

(2) issued a full-throated endorsement of Bob Ney, and

(3) expressed effusively his confidence in Tom Delay's

re-election chances. He said nothing, however, about

his own re-election prospects--or Mark Foley's--because

that would have been a no-brainer.

Recommended Attire for Viewing the

Republican Leadership Bloodletting

Wouldn't you like to see the Shuttle Crawler Transporter

pop a wheelie?