Remember Levi Johnston?  No?  Good!

Build Your Own Douche Kabob

Levi Johnston, Notorious Sperm Gifter, Goes Back Home 

to His Mommy

Sharp-Dressed Man Finally Shows Up to

Resolve National Bristol Palin Crisis

 

Levi Johnston's idea for the title and

cover of his first book, Deer in the

Dark, was quickly discarded in favor

of

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #46

Six Degrees of Suppuration

Rogue Goes Rogue

(Again)

"Oh, it's you! For a minute there, I
thought it was Adam Lambert!"

No, this is not Levi Johnston posing naked in Playgirl

cracking pistachio nuts. This is Lizzie Miller posing

naked in Glamour without any nuts at all.

Will Roger 'The Silencer' Stephens
be slapping Levi Johnston next?

"You're 19, Levi, and Kathy is 49. What's it like to date
a woman who is older than the grandmother of your
bastard son, Tripp?"

"Just between you and me, baby, John McCain is a putz
and Meghan McCain is a shiksa!"

Levi Johnston Chosen to Play Major Role in
New Fox Network Soap Opera, Palin Place

Has Bristol Palin broken it off?

Levi's not talking.

Next year's Sarah Palin calendar features the governor

bagging Sherry Johnston, the mother of the father of her

first grandchild, on six felony drug charges.

It really didn't matter that Levi's 'Promise Ring' was

a press-on tattoo he found in a box of Cap'n Crunch.

He only needed it until the day after the election.

"Thanks to you, kid, millions and millions of teenagers

across America are going to learn what their parents

and grandparents already know: that all this talk

about 'saving yourself for marriage' is a crock of shit."

"Brad and Angelina are getting old, kid. Stick with me

and I'll take you to the top!"

Asked how he intends to support his new family, Levi said he

was working on his first book, Salmon Fishing Out of Season:

Tips and Tricks from a Badboy Redneck. He hopes to see it

through the press in time for his wedding or the birth of his

first child, whichever comes first.

The Shotgun That Will Be Used to Make Sure Levi Johnston

Gets to the Wedding on Time