Barney

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Barney Google

In an attempt to compensate for its size, the frog asks that we

henceforth refer to it as a 'Self-Propelled Amphibious Vehicle'.

And Mitt Romney thought within himself, saying, "What shall

I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits?"

And he said, "This will I do: I will pull down my barns,

and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits

and my goods. And I will say to my soul, 'Soul, thou hast

much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease,

eat, drink, and be merry'."

"Buy my book and read it, but don't think of it in any way as

 a 2012 campaign blueprint or manifesto.  Just read it for the

laughs."

Will Corky the Winebibber be the next to jump into the

race for the Republican presidential nomination?

"Et tu, McCain?"

Jon Huntsman for President in 2012,

Barack Obama for Vice-President

and Poet Laureate

Imperial Stormtrooper Trying to Decide Whether to

Become a Suicide Bomber or Run for the Republican

Presidential Nomination

The Tea Party was over in Iowa, and, honest to God,

everybody left without even offering them a cup

of tea.

"Sarah Palin told me to tell you that the only reason she

prefers you over the Tea Party candidate is because she

 has a weakness for gray-headed Mormons who wear 

lavender neckties."

If, as Karl Rove is predicting, Sarah Palin will announce her

run for the Republican presidential nomination on Labor

Day weekend, will she do it at her favorite donut shop,

 thereby cementing her

relationship to her

Spudnut base?

"We're so sorry, Representative Bachus, but

according to the Law of Karma, you must've

been a Channel Catfish caught with a lump of

bubble gum in your former life."

As the average annual global temperature continued to

 rise, 'Snow Scrubbing' became one of the most popular

summertime activities among climate skeptics living in

the gated communities of Texas and Oklahoma.

South Korean Commandos Re-Enacting Simon & 

Garfunkel's 'Bridge Over Troubled Waters'

Rick Perry as Seen From a Russian Language Perspective

"I've got a big mouthful of pop-ups right now and can't 

answer your questions about the constitutionality of

Social Security or the treasonouness of secession."

*Blond with Big Bazookas Not Included. 

(If you want the blond,

 you pay us 67K a year.)

Now that Tim Pawlenty's seat is empty in the GOP

Game of Musical Chairs, former New York governor

George Pataki is said to be giving serious consid-

eration to filling it.  Asked why he might run as

'Elmer Pataki', he explained that 'George Pataki'

is widely perceived to be a RINO and doesn't stand

 a chance of winning the nomination.

Not that long ago they were called 'Crony Capitalists'.  And

then, seemingly overnight, they became 'Corny Capitalists'.

When he was first elected as a Republican to

 the U. S. House of Representatives in 2004,

Michael McCaul's net worth was $12 million. 

Seven years later, in 2011, his net worth is

now $294 million, which makes him the

wealthiest member of Congress.  And

how, it's fair to ask, did he increase his

net worth by 2,350% in just seven years? 

He did it the old-fashioned way---by

accepting large monetary transfers

from his wife's family.