World's Worst Yoobs #133

Emily Esfahani Smith

"'High fructose corn syrup'?  Oh,  I've heard

of that!"

"According to the New York Stock Exchange

at 3:01 p.m., you are now worth $2,422.35,

down from $2,423.10 yesterday."

It's possible tomorrow will never come.

"Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six 

crazy conspiracy theories before breakfast."

Warm Scuzzies #396

ABC News

"All to Jesus I surrender;

Now I feel the sacred flame.

Oh, the joy of full salvation!

Glory, glory, to His Name!"

"I'm strong to the finich 

Cause I eats me spinach."

Did he want a single-dip or double-dip Hot Beef

Sundae for lunch?  He couldn't make up his mind.

World's Worst Yobs #286

Kevin Williamson

Abu Sakkar Sez:  "I don't bother to win the hearts

 and minds of my Syrian enemies.  I just eat them."

[Uncooked, no less!]

Who Moved Rob Ford's Crack Pipe?

Winners of the International Kamasutra Competition

Held This Year in New York City

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #498

Steve Roberts

"The attorney general will not cast aspersions 

on my asparagus!"

Oscar Pissedoffius

David Beckham Retiring

(But Still Not Shy)

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #25

Jay Nordlinger

What House Republicans Will Be Wearing

 on '37th Obamacare Repeal Vote Day'

"Somebody up there doesn't like me."