It's not impossible to extinguish the human spirit.

But it's hard.

Punditocracy Already Bored with Obama Administration,

Can Hardly Wait for 2012

Enough of this sitting on your ass in front of the

computer! It's time to head for the great outdoors

for some RINO huntin' with the Nuge!

Machiavelli's Shadow Ready to

Board Time Machine for 2010

Zappadan draweth nigh. When it arrives, you will

find all of its nutty goodness at The Aristocrats.

AIG CEO Edward Liddy to Publish New Book, Kama Sutra

for Financiers: 1001 Ways to Screw Taxpayers

If Sarah Louise Heath had been a blogger back in the day,

she would've been in her parents’ basement just talkin’

garbage like everybody else, but without pajamas. If

you want to know what that looked like, just ask

Todd Palin's fly. On the wall, it was very fond of trash.

Off the wall, it was even fonder.

Suggestion: send Michael O'Hanlon to the families of the

two U. S. soldiers killed today by an Iraqi soldier to expatiate

for one hour, and without notes, on the success of the 'surge'.

Sarah Palin said "my son's life is now in Barack

Obama's hands." All in all, Track seemed to bear

up under this bit of good news pretty well.

Let's be fair: should we blame John Podhoretz for the

fact that his father is Norman Podhoretz and his

mother is Midge Decter?

If there was ever a deserving candidate for an extreme

makeover, it would be Senator Ken Salazar of Colorado.

His head is too big for his body, his hat is too big for his

head, and he looks more like Phil Gramm than

Phil Gramm.

If you are too tall and would like to shed a few inches,

this fellow claims he can fix you right up.

"Now that you mention it, Barack, the symmetry of the

Oval Office has tended to get on my nerves."

Andrew Sullivan, Pre-Palin

Andrew Sullivan, Post-Palin

Little Jack Horner sat in the corner

Eating his Christmas pie,

He put in his thumb and pulled out a

Plum Book
And said "What a good boy am I!"

Did you know an extra hour of shuteye is worth $60,000?

This is just one of the amazing facts in the New York

Times bestseller, Sleep and Grow Rich.

World's Worst Yobs #59

Michael Barone

"Yeah, my show will now have a seven-second delay to
protect against my dropping any more f-bombs. On the

other hand, no other show on MSNBC will have this

feature. I'm kinda proud of that."

Representative Paul Broun (R-GA) said Monday he fears that
President-elect Obama will establish a Gestapo-like security

force to impose a Marxist dictatorship. A spokesman for the

Obama Administration replied, "What the Congressman says

is only half true. The other half is that the dictatorship will

only be imposed on bug-eyed white Republicans from Georgia."

The Unexpurgated Bible #16

According to the Book of Genesis, chickens were created

on Thursday, the fifth day of the week. That's the good

news. The bad news is that Colonel Sanders was created

on Friday.

"Remember when we had feathers, dear? That was before

we got plucked by all those greedheads at AIG."

If you don't want to be seen while

visiting the Louvre, wear cammies.

Potato Couch

No matter how many ducks and chickens they taped to

the fuselage, the Lost Planet Airmen could not slip the

surly bonds of Earth.

Does anybody know what you're supposed to do to

celebrate National Ammo Day?

Quiet, please, while God is showing Sarah Palin

the way to the White House.

President-elect Barack Obama and President Bush met in the

Oval Office for over an hour today, and Obama received his

first look at the Situation Room. He said "Hi!" to Wolf

Blitzer before continuing his tour of the White House.

The polls show that Reaganism is not dead.

But it is on life support.

The Hindrocketeer writes: "Bush never gets sloppy when he is

speaking publicly. He chooses his words with care and

precision, which is why his style sometimes seems halting.

In the eight years he has been President, it is remarkable how

few gaffes or verbal blunders he has committed." Has this

estimable rightist never heard of 'Bushisms', the gathering

and publishing of which made Jacob Weisberg rich

and famous?

"I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree, George, about the

cogency of Spinoza's critique of Descartes' epistemology."

Morning Joe Drops F-Bomb in Lap,

Blows Off Sanctimonious Prick

"Some say I'm less popular than Richard Nixon was when he

resigned. That's like saying the glass is half empty. I say I'm

more unpopular than Richard Nixon was when he resigned.

That's like saying the glass is half full."

Tortoise Reaches Economic Summit, Wonders Where

the Other Members of the Obama Brain Trust Are

Poopdeck Pappy to Retire from Thimble Theatre

GOP Gearing Up for 2012; Nate Silver Already Predicting Winner

Todd Herzog may be one of the most hated men in

the world today. He's hated by gays for being a

Mormon and he's hated by Mormons for being gay.

But, not to worry: he's a Survivor.

Let's face facts, shall we? Righty bloggers are in a world

of pain at the moment. The only good news out of that

diverticulum in the Intertube is this: their suffering

has been outsourced to a tribe of Miskito Indians in

Nicaragua who are willing to work just for laughs.

Now that his days as a senator were numbered, Larry Craig

began to set his sights on a new career in, say, wrestling,

yes, and in South Asia, perhaps India.

Yulia Tymoshenko, the Prime Minister of Ukraine, has her

eye on you. Is there any particular reason? Or are you

just a temporary stand-in for Barack Obama?

"I blew it. I used to be young and funny. Now I'm

just an old Reagan nostalgist who writes tired

prose for the Weekly Standard."

"Like me, Barack, you're one cool dude! But I'm still cooler

than you because I can pronounce 'Obama' better than

you can pronounce 'Ahmadinejad'."

The Chicago Tribune has reported that the Obamas are

“leaning toward a HowdyDoodle,” a hypoallergenic hybrid

of a gap-toothed marionette and a poodle.

Threat Operations Center to Go Out of Business

on January 20, 2009

George had never learned that you shouldn't point

a flag at anything you don't intend to invade.

Beard or no beard, Radovan was the same old psychiatrist,

poet, and war criminal.

It's illegal to put two cocks with feathers in a ring to fight.

But if you put two cocks without feathers in a ring to fight,

it's called boxing.

John and Cindy Prepare to Ascend from

the Mount of Has-Beens and Also-Rans

From now on, whenever you're feeling a bit glum, take a look

at this photo and think, "Cindy McCain might've been the

First Lady, but she isn't." See, you're feeling better already.