Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Fearguth Refuses to Alter Unflattering Photograph of Rupert Murdoch;
Fox News Responds: "Disgusting" ... "Beneath Comment" ... "Fighting
with a Pig"
"See that crocodile over there. We've trained it to stay perfectly
still so you can take better pictures. But please keep your hands
inside the
boat. Crocs, you know, are always looking for a hand out."
"Hey, buddy! Take up thy cross and follow me! Did you
hear what I said, buddy? Darn it! Lost another one!"
“I thank God for my drug addiction. It made me understand my
shortcomings, such as being unable to love myself sufficiently."
Rush Limbaugh Doing What He Does Best: Blowing Smoke
American Empire #30
Coercive Interrogation Techniques

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no! I am NOT too hot-skinned, thin-tempered,
or short-headed to be President!"
Lame Duck

Limp Dick
Even the pigeons had turned against Sarko the Giant.
Cock of the Walk Sports New Tangler Wrangler
Groomer II Long-Tooth Greyhound Style Comb
"Let's win this one for Bluto's new tattoo!"
Fearguth's Rules of Order #14
Don't try to impress an orangutan with all
the ways you know to pronounce 'tomato'.
"In your new role as a McCain adviser, you
won't be needing this head anymore."
What a Difference U Can Make


Tuesday, July 01, 2008

They didn't know where they were headed, but they
were happy to be swimming in the Mainstream.
"I'm trying to 'move to the Center', as they say.
Do you have any idea where that might be?"
McCain Unplugged
There's an Internet rumor going around that Barack Obama
drinks bottled water. Pass it on.
"Go ahead, smear me!" the chocolate wrestler exclaimed.
Razing McCain #15
Why does Senator McCain flip-flop on the issues so much?
One of his advisors, Douglas Holtz-Eakin, says it's because
McCain is a pragmatist; he's "interested in getting results."
Yeah, like getting elected.
"Consumer Countries Have to Adapt to the Prices and the
Mechanisms of the Market," Says Mechanical Man
The Day Hoppity Hooper Met Beaky McAvis

The world watched silently as the fate of Tibet was decided.
Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter Join Forces to Form ShoveOff!,
the Radical Right's Answer to MoveOn
"Senator Obama is saying I'm a genuine war hero. Well, you
know, this election is about trust, and trusting people's word,
and unfortunately, Senator Obama's word cannot be trusted."
"Gee," the little boy thought, "Little Red Riding hood was right.
Grandma's teeth are really big!"
Few people realize the same Invisible Hand that keeps raising
gasoline prices is what holds airplanes up in the sky.
American Empire #29
Executive Privilege
World's Worst Jobs #84
Bangladeshi Stone Bearer

Monday, June 30, 2008

According to Rick Kaplan, executive producer of CBS Evening
 Newsmany aspects of business, like silhouette photography, 
have been revolutionized by the Tiger Woods phenomenon.
This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.
To prove he's just as qualified as John McCain to be President,
Barack Obama has agreed to be waterboarded, bastinadoed,
and keelhauled on Survivorman.
"I want my Mommy!"
Did you know that one of the most effective laxatives you can
give a constipated rat is watermelon juice?
Shtupmobiler Poppin' a Wheelie
Man Obtains Pet License for World's Largest Halibut

Remember: the more times you contribute, the more chances
you get to ride the bus with John!
Archaeological Dig Uncovers Sculptures Dating Back to the
Old Sand Age
"A thousand pardons, but could you direct me to a topless
bar called the 'Gaza Strip'?"
New Airport Scanner Can Detect Ski Masks, AK-47s

"Is it true troubles melt like lemondrops way up high?"

Sunday, June 29, 2008

At the Mashuk Akva-Term Sanatorium and Spa in the town of
Zheleznovodsk, Russia, the therapeutic motto is, "The enema
of my enema is my friend."
Gasbag Barrier Fails in Washington, D. C.;
City Asphyxiated by Ignatian Effluvia
"Oh, I'm the only real tiger around here. That's just John
McCain after Peggy let him out of the cage."
When Governor Jindal signed the Intelligent Design Bill,
the Dysteleological Surd Alarm went off.
John McCain doesn't remember what the price of gas was when
he last pumped it for himself. But he does remember what the
pumps looked like.
Amy Winehouse Doing Her Impression of Jack Nicholson's
Immortal 'Neh! Neh! Neh!' Scene in Easy Rider

Refugees from the Middle Ages Seek Asylum in the
 21st Century, or Vice Versa