"I'm a WINO, not a RINO!"

Of all the excuses offered for The Cooch's defeat in

Virginia---he was underfunded, he was wounded by

Ted Cruz's government shutdown, he was a victim

of the gender gap---no one mentions that he is a

reverse-threaded bull goose loony that a plurality

of sane Virginia voters couldn't abide.

Warm Scuzzies #433

Chief Brandon Gigante

Coochie Man Loses His Hoochie

Would all you anti-plagiarism bullies

 please leave Rand Paul the hell alone?

Only five Colorado counties voted to secede.

Maybe they'll now merge with Kansas.

Election Night Verdict

Toronto Mayor Apologizes for Shopping for Neckties

After Smoking Crack

Toronto residents were relieved to learn

today that Rob Ford, their mayor, had

smoked crack while in a drunken stupor,

not while cold sober.

Bangladesh to Execute 152 at the Same Time, 

Throws Down the Gauntlet to Texas

Flag Desecration #70

Chris Christie of the South

Chris Christie of the North

Bill de Blasio Campaigns for Mayor of 

New York City on NeoBeatles Platform

Rogers County, Oklahoma Bigfoot Hunt Ends

 with 1 Man Shot, 3 People Arrested, and 

0 Sasquatches Captured

"God, I'm a loser!"

"I know that, you dummy!  I'm omniscient!"

Greedheads Galore #33

Stephen A. Cohen

Rob Ford to Stay as Toronto Mayor, Will Cut Alcohol 

Consumption to Only Three Moosehead, Two Molson,

 and One Labatt Per Diem

Running for lieutenant-governor of Virginia on the 

Republican ticket, Bishop E. W. Jackson is claiming 

Barack Obama  will “force schools to start teaching 

all children homosexuality.”  Sounds unlikely, since 

courses in homosexuality are as hard, if not harder, 

than courses in solid geometry, and the flunkout 

rate is typically 90% or higher.

Rightbloggers and Other 

Internet Biohazards #143

Illinois Review

"Hey, buddy, where are you headed?"

"To a duel with Rand Paul.  I'm a

former English teacher and I hate

plagiarizers!"

Baylor University student body president Wesley Hodges

does not approve of homosexual behavior, but he does

approve of Baptist behavior.

"Like coal mining, plagiarism is a dirty business, 

but somebody has to do it."

"If I were willing to surrender my seat as a Kentucky 

Senator, I would challenge Rachel Maddow to a duel

for all the asparagus she has cast on my character!"

Southern Lady's New Book Expected

to Sell Poorly in Old Confederacy

Southern Belle Disses Republican Base in Yankee Newspaper

Hemp had changed her whole perspective on life.

I Am Curious (Yellow)

Official Snack Food of National

Dip Anything in Chocolate Day

Nation's Attention Span Shrinks Further;

Twitter Character Limit Lowered to 100

Cultured Beef

Uncultured Beef

The day the universe changed was the day Andrew 

Sullivan moved back to D.C. from New York Shitty.

Mama's Boys

Mama

Ted Cruz to Donate Paisley Bathrobe to 

National Museum of American History

So, as it turns out, Harry Reid was telling the truth in

2012 when he claimed a Republican had told him

Mitt Romney had not paid any taxes for the previous

ten years.  No wonder the Mittster steadfastly refused

to release his tax returns.  Had he done so, he would

 have lost the election even more decisively than he did.

"Some glad morning when this life is o'er, 

I'll fly away; 

To a home on God's celestial shore, 

I'll fly away.

I'll fly away, Oh Glory 

I'll fly away;

When I die, Hallelujah, by and by, 

I'll fly away."

Gene and Dean Ween you may be familiar with, but

Jesus Ween is probably new to you.

"Get off my driveway!"

"But, Mayor Ford, this is a public street."

"Like I said before, 'Get off my driveway!'"

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #528

George Rodriguez

It's true:  owners and their pets often look alike.

GEICO Gecko

NSA Gecko

Rand Paul Vows to Block Yellen's

Nom Nom

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #527

Jim Wheeler

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #87

Plagiarizer: the Life and Times of the

Wikipedia Kid

"I did NOT say Rush Limbaugh sucks 'donkey dicks'!  

I said 'jackass dicks'!"

"Honey, I think the cat's panhandling again."

"No, dear, it's just refusing to accept my decision

to discontinue cat blogging."

"It's not true I once shot Mike Enzi in the face.  

Quite frankly, we were never that close.  I only

shoot friends in the face."