Woman Complains Her Apartment

Building Hyperventilates

“As you remember, Rockey, I was down there at the

end of the road in Plaquemines Parish when the storm hit.

Katrina blew me all the way back to Crawford. Wow! That

was the best blow job I've ever had!”

"The United States v. The World:

Don't miss the next Oil Wrestling

Deathmatch on DirecTV Pay-Per-View!"

An illegal immigrant in the Democratic Republic of the Congo

betrayed his country of origin today when he put on a

Joseph Kabila mask, pointed at his head, made a corkscrew

motion with his right hand, and said, "El jefe es loco en la cabeza!"

This is a baby albino pygmy marmoset. Add

one more adjective to this monkey and you

could only see it with a magnifying glass.

Asked why he refused to accept the equivalent of

a Nobel Prize in Mathematics, Grigori Perelman

said he did it to impress Jacqueline Mackie Paisley

Passey. "She's the only person I know of," he added,

"whose egomania is more advanced than mine."

Papuan Celebrating Independence from

the Twenty-First Century

Members of Palestine's Green Party Being Weeded

Out of the Desert

Boy Trying to Drown His Tuk-Tuk in the Nile River

Tractor pulls are very popular in Ottertail, Minnesota.

So are toad strangling, frog smushing, and gecko gibbeting.

You have no idea how big Black-Eyed Susans

grow in the Amazon rain forest.

"No, this isn't a MooLatté. My good friend, Senator

George Allen, says eating desserts like that are what

caused the South to lose the War of Northern Aggression."

After almost four years of litigation, Frank Quattrone, former

chief of technology banking for Credit Suisse First Boston, has

beaten the 'loud tie' rap and will be permitted to walk Wall

Street once again.

U. S. News reports: "He's still a funny, earthy guy who

can't get enough of fart jokes. He's also known to cut a

few for laughs." For instance, President Bush opened his

press conference last Monday morning by telling reporters,

"Pull my finger!"

In his bid for re-election as Governor of Alaska,

Frank Murkowski got only 19% of the vote in

the Republican primary. Analysts say the only

people who voted for him were members of his

extended corporate welfare family.

Still Life with Ant Lion and Pipe

Fresh from its victory over the hare, the tortoise turned

its attention to the family dog.

Bush Using Terror Weapon on Voter

If you think Ehud Olmert looks sad now,

you should have seen him before he ate

his Happy Meal.

Mad Cow Makeup Artist at Work

After he concluded his remarks to members of the

Brazilian Air Force, Geraldo Alckmin flapped his

wings and flew on to his next appointment.

Pakistani Police Apprehend Fugitives from

René Magritte's The Lovers

"Maria Sharapova Loves Me,"

Signed: Maria Sharapova

Pressure Mounts to Censure President Bush

for Giving America the Wrong Finger

Karl Rove, Rescue Ranger

Our Colonel Blimp

"If we withdraw our troops before we complete our mission,

all those Iraqi terrorists are gonna swim across the ocean

and blow you up!"

Two Israelis and a Palestinian Playing

Blind Man's Bluff

Cats Waiting in the Green Room Before Making Their

Weekly Blog Appearances

What Happened When the Beirut Housing Bubble Burst

"I'm a fish, a Cichlasoma citrinellum to be more

exact. I've pretty much accepted the fact that

you humans would rather eat me than understand

what it's like to eke out a living underwater and to

breathe through gills. But what I can't accept

is your seeming indifference to the demise of

Inspector Gill and the Fish Police. That was an

ichthyological catastrophe of the first order.

And what did you do about it? Nothing, except

change channels!"

An Exercise in Ski-Mask Profiling

Are these (a) convenience-store robbers, (b) downhill skiers,

(c) slashers with large knives auditioning for a part in a

horror movie, (d) Mujahidin Council Members from

Indonesia who want to kill Israelis, or (e) cold-natured

guys trying to keep their heads warm?

Keep in mind your life and their liberty

may depend on your answer.

The price of GlaxoSmithKline stock fell sharply today 

on news that researchers have determined when Beano is 

added to cattle feed, it has little effect on reducing bovine 

flatulence, a significant cause of global warming.

When you join the South Korean Marines,

expect to get your feet wet.

President Bush came unstuck in time and found himself

back in February 2006, speaking about the Advanced

Energy Initiative. "Does anybody here remember what I'm

talking about, because I sure don't?"

Paula Malcomson was overcome with emotion when

she learned that Emmy had been modeled after a

television engineer's wife.

It was a slow day at Katherine Harris World.

Tank Farm in Southern Lebanon

Tiger Woods denies that mind control had anything to do

with his victory at this year's PGA Championship.

As he scanned the windswept steppe of Mongolia,
the soldier was sure Genghis Khan would soon be 
brought to justice.

Colorful Hungarian Anti-Aircraft Battery Scores Its First Hit

Amazingly, the Four Klutzmen had won the canoe race.

These Nepalese are protesting the high price of

petroleum. Fortunately, matches and rubber are

still relatively cheap in Kathmandu.

The little rascal always enjoyed the meetings of the

He-Man Woman Haters Club.

IIs Angel Sanctuary only a cartoon? Just ask this fan.

Andrew Strauss suddenly realized the bowler's

delivery just wasn't cricket.

Shadow Tennis

Snakes On a Plain

What had started out as a week-long float trip through

the Grand Canyon ended up as a peacekeeping mission

in Lebanon. Obviously, somebody needed to improve

his map-reading skills.

"Next week here on the Misery Loves Company Radio Network,

our story will be titled, 'A Man's House Is His Castle'.