Need a porter to carry your knife and gun to
the next town hall meeting? Richard Terry
Young would appreciate your business. Just
give him a call.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #66
Chuck Baldwin

Glenn Beck Loses GEICO, Sargento, Procter & Gamble,
Men's Wearhouse, Progressive Insurance, State Farm,
and Lawyers.com as Advertisers, Goes into Partial
Eclipse; Can a Total Eclipse Be Far Off?

Megyn Kelly, Fox News' Thumb in the
Eye of Edward R. Murrow

Don't be alarmed. His right to keep and bear arms
is protected by the Second Amendment, just like
yours.

William Kostric attributes his descent into
teabaggery to his loss of faith in Santa Claus.

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #10
John Solomon

Factoid of the Hour #6
Did you know you can buy an Imperial 3-Month Survival
Food Kit for only $1,085.95? Did you know that the food
kit has a 30-year shelf-life? Did you know the shipping
is free? Did you know a tube tent, a solar sleeping bag, a
Shak’r Light (never needs batteries), a portable stove with
fuel, an adult rain poncho, and a solar blanket are included
absolutely free? Did you know if you buy enough of these
kits, you may survive the ending of the Mayan Calendar
in 2012?

Lou Dobbs fondly remembers his Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtle years as the last time he had a mouth full of his
own teeth.

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #9
Betsy McCaughey

Headed for deep water? Don't forget your PFD
(Personal Fornication Device)!

"WE ARE NOT A MOB! WE ARE DEMOCRACY AT WORK!
SHALL I SAY THAT A LITTLE LOUDER?"

World's Worst Yobs #120
James Pinkerton

World's Worst Yoobs #46
Danielle Allen

Town Hall Protesters Pissed That They Have to Wait in
Long Lines to Get Their Free Pre-Frontal Lobotomies

"Happy to still be here!" said Senator Specter, having
just survived a geezer-mob in Lebanon, Pennsylvania.

Spokesman for the National Council for a New
America, the GOP Re-Branding Outfit, Says,
"Aarrgh!"

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #20
My Big Fat Amphibian Wedding

If you want to get the citizens of the United States upset,
here are two things you can do which will never fail to rile
them: (1) call them un-American and (2) criticize their
spelling.

"You're 19, Levi, and Kathy is 49. What's it like to date
a woman who is older than the grandmother of your
bastard son, Tripp?"

"Condoleezza Rice. You remember me, don't you?
I was the only National Security Adviser and
Secretary of State who had an

oil tanker named after her."

"Congratulations, Miss 40-Year-Old-Virgin! For
hitting today's jackpot, you have won what's
behind Door #1 AND Door #2!"

The facepalm gesture can effectively communicate
what words cannot. However, if it is executed
poorly, it can make you look pretty dumb.

The caduceus dates back to 3000-4000 BCE
and is widely used today as a symbol of medicine.

Proponents of health care reform have combined the
caduceus with a very familiar logo to create this image.

When Rush Limbaugh looks at the image,
he sees a symbol of Nazism. Oxycontin
does that to you.

"Just between you and me, baby, John McCain is a putz
and Meghan McCain is a shiksa!"

In Reihan Salam, the GOP now has its very own James Carville.

"Mendacity, thy name is Krauthammer!"

"Obama gonna get yo' Mama! Obama gonna get yo' Mama! Obama gonna get yo' Mama! Obama gonna get yo' Mama! In conclusion, let me say this: Obama gonna get yo' Mama!"

U.S. Banks to Make $38 Billion from Overdraft Fees;
"Never Hit a Customer When He's Down," Bankers Say,
"Kick Him, It's Easier"

World's Worst Yobs #119
Matt Kibbe

What is it about A-List and Z-List bloggers on the left--
mostly males--that drives them to try to establish their
middle-class, blue-collar cred by incessant talk about
current sports news like some ESPN insider? Has it ever
occurred to them that professional sports may well be
antithetical to their ideology and that their testosterone
levels may be overriding their devotion to progressive ideals?

While Jenny Sanford was seceding from
the Governor's Mansion in Columbia,

the Governor of South Carolina was
grieving offshore in Fort Sumter.

Smoking a big MotaRolla won't help you answer the question,
"Why is the United States spending $65 billion in 2008 to
kill people in Afghanistan?" It will, however, help you
forget the question you just asked.

Chris Chocola, President of the Club for Growth of
Longer Lashes and Enhanced Eyebrows

Q: Who's to the right of Attila the Hun?
A: Little Miss Attila the Nun.

"Could we go a little deeper, Mama? I can still hear
the dunderclaps of all those teabagger shitheels."

Reasons Not to Go on a Blind Date #1
Your date's idea of a good time may be
having you drawn and quartered.

Newt Gingrich Defending Palin's 'Death Panels'
on This Week with George Stephanopoulos

World's Worst Yoobs #45
Dana Loesch

Slate's Jack Shafer writes: "I'm actually not a fan
of any kind of humor. The very essence of humor
is aggression. The point of most jokes is to inflict
psychological suffering and pain—to transgress and
make someone the butt. This is why I've declared my
journalism, my office, my home, and the subway line
I commute to work on absolutely comedy free." Well,
you have to give him credit: nobody has the passive-
aggressive shtick down quite like Jack.

When asked why he kept saying, "If you shoot yourself
in the head, M&Ms will come out of your mouth," the
Governor of Texas replied, "To solidify my support in
the Republican base, I have to work all the angles."

"I say to the government: keep your socialistic
hands off my Medicare!"

Kenneth Gladney to Play Harry Hinkle in Remake of
The Fortune Cookie; Jim Hoft to Co-Star as Whiplash
Willie Gingrich

T-Strap Demand Surges as More and More
Town Hall Mobsters Suffer from 'Turfer Toe'

According to a recent Pew Research Poll, only 6% of
American scientists self-identify as Republicans and
only 9% think of themselves as being 'conservative'.
Why do you suppose this is so?

If the Republican Party is the 'loyal opposition',
it would be difficult to imagine what the 'disloyal
opposition' might be.