Before he returned to this world as a voyeuristic

 reptile, Dr. Emilio Lizardo had never believed

in the Pythagorean doctrine of the 'Trans-

migration of Souls'.

If you wish to sell a war to a liberal, don't call it a 'war'. 

Call it a 'humanitarian intervention'.

Mark your April calendar now for three important events:

April Fools' Day, Tax Day, and the publication of

Sharron Angle's autobiography.

The Libyans appreciated the $31 million F-15 aid package,

but they didn't know quite what to do with it.

Muammar Gaddafi and Silvio Berlusconi Finalize New

Libya/Italy 'Bunga-Bunga' Pact

American Schutzstaffel #8

Having mastered the job of Senator after just 20 days of

on-the-job training, Rand Paul says he's now ready to step

 into the Oval Office.

World's Worst Yoobs #92

Jennifer Griffin

Potemkin Fiat

Warm Scuzzies #163

David Schubert

World's Worst Yobs #215

Steve Harrigan

This Week in Sex:  Charlie Sheen 'Smooches'

Jimmy Kimmel, Donald Trump 'Screws'

Muammar Gaddafi, Fossil of Giant

Playboy Bunny Found Off Coast

of Spain

Although it costs a little more, the Victoria Jackson Sex Doll

comes pre-inflated.

Single Mohawk

Double Mohawk

Triple Mohawk

Reverse Mohawk

No one would pay a penny for her thoughts,

because that would be a foolish investment.

Support Our Troops

The Raytheon Motto:  'Customer Success Is Our Mission'

The croak of the Poison Dart Frog is unmistakable.  It's a very

shrill, screechy 'Tea-GOP-er, Tea-GOP-er, Tea-GOP-er!"

Madame Giuliani Unable to Accept That 9/11 Has Been

Superseded by 3/11 as the Most Tragic Date in History

John Wayne Sapp, Christian Arsonist

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #285

David Prosser

I Remember Dubya #47

"In the near future, people will often confuse me

with Barack Obama. That's understandable, since I

was born in New Haven, Connecticut, and he was

born in Hawaii, just off the coast of Midland, Texas,

where I developed my love for the Middle East."

Forget Hanna Montana, Billy Ray!  Miley

is now 'Achy Breaky Heart' in drag. 

Deal with it!

If you're a sexagenerian, don't you find it amusing how people

in their 30s and 40s have started sensing the distance between

themselves and people in their teens and 20s?  What's espec-

ially amusing is how they so often refer condescendingly and

intolerantly to the peer group they once, not so long

 ago, proudly counted themselves members of.

"Senator Lee, for someone who lives in the high desert that

is Utah, you apparently don't get out in the sun much.  Do

you consider that an advantage or disadvantage?"

"My end is near.  Bring me a Bucket List!"

George Will Warns of 'Mission Creep' in Libya

This 'Mission Creep', for Instance

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #52

Friday 2: Rebecca Black vs. the Cyberbullies from the World
of Tomorrow

Humberto Fontova Sez:  "Diet Coke and buttered

popcorn?  Hell, no!  When there's a new, first-run

 war going on, I always bring fresh-slain venison

and ice-cold home brew!"

Despite being the first Scottish Deerhound to win 'Best in Show'

at the Westminster Dog Show, Grand Champion Foxcliffe

Hickory Wind still hadn't figured out how to use the

remote-controlled remote control she had first read about

in The Onion.

"We're from the IRS and we want to see the receipt for your

abortion, please. Aha! Just as we thought! You had an abortion

without indicating whose money you used to pay for it.  You

realize this means a full audit of your income taxes for the

last ten years, don't you?"

Utah State Handgun: United States Pistol, Caliber .45, M1911

Utah State Cookpot: Dutch Oven

Utah State Crackpot: Carl Wimmer

The Turano Mansion, Where Senator Karl Kruger---

Bribery Racketeer---Enjoyed Frequent Sleepovers

The Addams Family House Next Door

Oxymorons for Our Time #90

Military Psychiatry

Axe Murder:  Activision Slays Guitar Hero

Winnie the Pooh

and Tigger, Too

"I'm Virgil Peck, and on Monday, I made an inappropriate

comment.  For that, I'm sorry, and I apologize to anyone

that I offended with my inappropriate comment. I'll be

more careful with my hunter-gatherer comments 

in the future."

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #284

Kathleen Passidomo

Not Exactly a Trojan Horse or a Trojan Rabbit,

More Like a Trojan Clifford

"And you thought only men could be warmongers!"

'Operation Odyssey Dawn' Said to Be the Most 'Homeric'

War the United States Has Yet Waged; 'Awesomely Epic',

Facebookers Are Commenting

Moses, Chess Grandmaster, Sez: 

"What Is the Libya Endgame?"