government officials suspect that the 60-foot-tall
Amazing Colossal Man is alive and well and living in DC.
... is some place you don't want to be.
Sad Sack to Step Aside as White House Chief of Staff After
1.5 Years of Absorbing Trumpstains
Adventures in Aestheticism #127
Saturday, December 08, 2018
The Uranus Examiner has ceased publication, forced
out of circulation by prudish Missourians who didn't
know our English word, 'Uranus', is the transliteration
of the Greek word, 'ouranos', which is translated as
'Heaven' 268 times in the King James Version of the
Holy Bible.
The Parting of Commander Bonespur and the General
Was Such Sweet Sorrow
France Wants Trump, Trump Loves France
It Ain't Over Till the Special Counsel Sings
Friday, December 07, 2018
Heather Nauert Believed to Be
Stimulus for Creation of
Malibu Barbie Doll
Coincident with Trump's nomination of Heather Nauert
as Ambassador to the United Nations, the position has been
downgraded from cabinet-level to blond wasteland-level.
Thursday, December 06, 2018
Fox Business Network Apologizes for the
Anti-Semitic Ravings of Tyler, Texas's
Finest
Adventures in Aestheticism #126
World's Worst Yobs #402
Peter Pry
"We don't dislike democracy," howled the wolves, "that
good little lamb; we even love it: nothing is more tasty
than a tender lamb."
Who's 'we', Papal Nuncio to the New York Times?
When they were shown charts and graphs which
displayed a 'hockey stick' spike in the national debt
in the not-too-distant future, they responded, “Yeah,
but we won’t be here."
"Isn't that Joe Manchin, the conservative, pro-coal
Democrat?" asked Ron Obvious.
The Unexpurgated Bible #165
And Hannity said, "Go and search diligently for Baby Jesus;
and when ye have found him in a cage, bring me word again,
that I may come and politicize him also."
Wednesday, December 05, 2018
Poppy Bush Goes to Heaven and
Leaves Narcissus Behind
Joe Biden is 'the most qualified person in the country to be
president' in the same way George Herbert Walker Bush
was, in the words of Chris Wallace, 'the greatest living
American'.
Art Imitating Life, or
Vice-Versa?
Steve Doocy Diagnosed with TNCS
(Trump No Collusion Syndrome)
Trump Has an Epiphany
This Cathedral Ain't Big Enough for the Both of Us
5G cellular mobile communications features a high data rate, reduced latency, energy saving, cost reduction, higher system capacity, massive device connectivity, and, like Trump's wall, promises to pay for itself.
According to PETA, you should no longer say 'bring home
the bacon'. Instead, you should say, 'bring home the bagels'.
One is made to wonder if this reformulation of a popular
idiomatic expression has been approved by PETB (People
for the Ethical Treatment of Bagels).
Steve Bannon Sex Machine Cancels Appearance at 4th
International Congress on Love and Sex with Robots
Go for it, Trumpniks! Now's your chance!
"He's the most colorless Attorney-General ever,"
they say.
"Shields up, red alert!"
Tuesday, December 04, 2018
Adventures in Lexicology #26
Psychopompeo (/ˈsaɪkoʊ/pɒmˈpeɪoʊ), n. A guide of souls to
the place of the political undead. [The Secretary of State
was the psychopompeo for members of the Trump
Administration.]
Chris Stewart Sez: “Journalists disappear all over
the country.”
Sergeant Matt Patten Disciplined for Aligning
Himself with QAnon and 'Theoretical Alternative
Meanings Behind Political Happenings'
Torture Porn
Lindsey Graham Nails It
The Shadow had "the power to cloud men's minds so
they cannot see him." But he had not figured on the
cat during shedding season.
"I am a Tariff Man," Trump says. A tariff is a tax on imports.
Trump, in other words, is saying, "I am a Tax Man." And