Is it just an illusion, or has Fat Albert lost a lot of weight?

Local Man in Danger of Being Wrinkled to Death Before

Receiving the Nobel Peace Prize

Life is filled with so many mysteries, such as, why so many

black-clad ISIS leaders wear white sneakers in the desert.

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night shall 

stay me from leaping Trump Tower with a single bound."

"OK, so they named Crocs after you, let's see some tears!"

Although they took up a lot more room,

telephone answering machines in the

early 1960s were much more interesting.

The results are in, and Ted Cruz has won the 'Ugliest

Christmas Sweater of the Year' contest for 2015.

Ham Bones Don't Kill People; People Kill People

Look Who Got a Binky for Christmas

Meerkat Denies The Politico's Claim That It Had 

Predicted in 2015 It Would Change Politics Forever

Rick Scott to Lead National Crusade Against

the 5 Foods That Cause Grey Hair

Raging Wool

Vladimir Putin, Czar of All the 

Man Buns

Fearguth and Loathing in the 21st Century #17

Imagine finding a tongue-eating louse in a can of tuna. 

That would be Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Tim McGinty.

Trump Deploys Katrina Pierson to Attract the Undead Vote

Angered by criticism of her bullet necklace, Trump

spokesperson Katrina Pierson made good on her

threat to wear her dead fetus necklace.

Trump Spox Katrina Pierson to Assume the Role of 

Boss Beast in New Campaign Edition of

Resident Evil

Donald Trump Announces Plan to Spend $2 Million

 a Week on Turd Polish

What Happened to the Drone That Got Too Close to the 

Obama Motorcade

"But I love torture, don't you understand?  

It's the force that gives me meaning!"

On what day did God create cold and hunger? In my Bible, the 

Garden of Eden wasn't cold and Adam and Eve didn't work.

Authorities south of the border say they 

first noticed Ethan Couch because he 

was too ignernt-looking to be a Mexican.

Trump Blasts, Blasts, Blasts, Blasts, Blasts, Blasts,

Blasts, Blasts, Blasts, Blasts, Blasts, and Blasts!

Trump Microtargets His Bid for the

Nom Nom Vote

Kim Jong-un had to be cagey about his socialist tendencies.

In case you're wondering what makes Mark Dankof's

face look so greasy, it's Iranian oil.

Fearguth's Rules of Order #62

Never try to hustle a chimp that drinks Jack Black. 

It's a waste of time.

Latest Fox News 'Fuck You' Poll Shows Trump Still

Way Out in Front

When Trump trashes Joe McQuaid, it's hard to know

who to root for.

Watch your friends turn green with envy when you open 

carry this Ted Cruz Engraved Shotgun around the 

Capital of Texas beginning January 1!

Affluenza's a Bitch!

Sean Davis, Federalist Hot-Air Balloonist

Oxymorons for Our Time #178

Daily Caller Education Editor

World's Worst Yoobs #160

Vanessa Rasanen

Why the Rich Won't Be Allowed in Heaven

We Had to Destroy Ramadi In Order to Save It

Man Dies in Failed Condom Machine Theft, Forgets Rubbers 

Sold in Johns Are Intended for Entertainment Purposes Only

Trump Blasts Hatchethead's Endorsement of

The Water Boy

World's Worst Yobs #346

Joel Kotkin

The GOP's Crazy Uncle Fester Problem

The Evolution of Uncle Fester

1964

1991

2015

To support Trump for the presidency isn't to lower the bar; 

it's to eliminate the bar and then to forget there ever was one.

Salvador Dali's Watch

Salvador Dali's Keyboard

Iraqi Army Reclaims Ramadi Rubble from ISIS

"Look, Mommy, Billy is playing with his gun again!"

Balance of Power

In Deep Throat, Linda Lovelace's clitoris was 

located in her throat.  In like manner, Donald

 Trump's anus is located beneath his nose.