"You can't lead unless you've got courage. Nouri's got courage

and he's shown courage over the last six months. Before that,

he was a yellow-bellied, lily-livered coward."

Here we see Indian eunuchs discussing the story of Philip
 the Evangelist and the conversion of the Ethiopian Eunuch. 
In particular, they are debating the scholarly issue concerning 
what chariot model the Ethiopian was riding in.

Sick and tired of all those expensive sinus remedies that

leave you stuffed up? Well, have you tried this?

Is there life after the Bush Administration? Karl Rove

thinks so. He's now working on an Associates Degree in

Videography from the Academy of Art University.

"Hey, hey now baby, get into my big black car

Hey now baby, get into my big black car

I wanna just show you what my politics are."

A milestone has been reached in the Iraq War: 
President Bush has shed his first tear. Observers 
say the landmark event occurred when Iraqi 
Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki postponed 
their scheduled meeting in Jordan. "It's the first
 time I've been stood up on a date," the President 
said, wiping his eye.

If you've never had the opportunity to kiss the Pope's ring,

now's your chance.

As the leaked memo from National Security Adviser Stephen

Hadley indicates, there may not be civil war in Iraq, but there

definitely is, as shown here, civil war in the White House.

If you work package pickup for UPS in Turkey,

you can't be too careful.

Israeli Soldier Indicating How Many Palestinian Houses

He Has Helped Demolish in the West Bank

Be sure to wipe your feet when you enter a home in

Baghdad. It is very ill-mannered to track blood in.

So anyway, you've got Nancy Pelosi on the bed and her

legs are on the mantelpiece, and you are asking her

whether she will pick

Jane Harman

or Alcee Hastings

to chair the House Intelligence Committee.

That's when she tells you it will be the guy

in the blue and silver hat.

Two members of the younger generation claim

they have discovered a new, but very messy way

to calculate the square root of pie.

Although the decision in 2002 to permit the cloning of

Santa Claus was widely viewed as an essential step in the

campaign to spread Christmas cheer worldwide, there is

now some evidence, albeit anecdotal, which tends to

suggest some metropolitan areas, like New York City,

are being overrun by jolly old elves.

Bob made a real monkey of himself when he accepted

the double-dog-dare to lick the block of dry ice.

On December 3, Hugo "Whiff the Sulphur" Chavez hopes

to hit another home run with the people of Venezuela.

Does competitive swimming make you yawn, or is

Britta Steffen just easily bored?

No longer confined to the rarified atmosphere of the cloisters

and the seminary, theological controversy has hit the streets.

Should the disputants be told all roads in the debate lead

to the same dead end?

President Bush Climbing the Stairway to Perdition

Dermatologists say Mahmoud Abbas's rare

skin disease may be cellphone related.

World's Worst Jobs #11

Siberian Dinghy Shuttler

What Glenn Reynolds Would Look Like

If He Were Older and Bleached His Hair

Cheerleader Trying to Teach Old Dog New Tricks

Former Ugly Ducklings Gather for Annual

Hans Christian Andersen Festival

Man Crossing a Sectarian Divide in Iraq

The soldier got really annoyed when he couldn't remember

where he had put the sixth boot.

"Scientists at a U.S. weapons laboratory say they have trained
bees to sniff out explosives." Initially, it was thought the bee 
you see here had found a bomb hidden in this trumpet flower. 
But, as it turns out, the bee had fallen for the old 'squirting
 flower' gag.

Prime Minister Prodi was delighted to see that 
President Chirac had never heard the old joke
 about the secret ingredient Emperor Heliogabalus 
added to the Caesar Salad.

Do you know that before he became the resident rightwing 
blowhard on Headline News Network, Glenn Beck authored 
two self-help books? Well, if you don't, you're not alone. 
Most people couldn't name them if their lives depended on it. 
So, for those of you who might be interested, here are the 
titles: How to Fuck a Duck: a Field Guide to Safe Sex with Our 
Fine Feathered Friends and How to Duck a Fuck: the Rape 
Prevention Manual for Oversexed and Underdressed Women.

"Speaking as someone who has been married for 37 years,"

Mitt Romney declared, "I can assure you that 'gay marriage'

is, at best, an oxymoron."

Thought to be extinct in Moscow, building cranes are

once again nesting near the Kremlin.

If you ever get collared by Diego Maradona and he starts

telling you he was the greatest soccer player who has

ever lived, you can be sure he is just blowing smoke.

"Quite frankly, Crown Prince Sultan, if Utah were sitting

on a pool of oil like your country is, Mitt Romney could

have thirty wives and favor the beheading of gays, and I

would still back him for president in 2008 without

batting an eye.”

"Did I understand you to say, King Abdullah, that having

thirty wives is what has kept your hair from turning gray?"

Sorry to disappoint, but that's not a pot of gold you see at the

end of the rainbow. It's the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel.

Home Safety Tip #1

Do not strike a match while sitting on the toilet.

"You take care now, oldtimer," said the President. "I would like
 to show you the door but I'm too young to remember which one 
you came in."

There was something about the way the Fennec Fox could

stretch out into a 'I Really Don't Give a Shit' posture that

made the Long-Tailed Lemur very curious, if not a bit envious.

"Hmmm," Pope Benedict reflected. "Looks like I'm

about as popular in Turkey as George Bush is in the

United States and Tony Blair is in Great Britain.

Maybe I should stay home and work out a different

scheme for returning Christianity to the time of

Saint Thomas Aquinas."

Steve Spalding only drinks wine from grapes thrown to him
from fifteen feet away which he catches and then ferments in 
his mouth.  Despite the difficulty of this feat, Steve has been so 
successful--he once caught 1203 grapes in a row--he is now 
a hopeless wino.

As the President sat silently in the limousine, he was sure he
 saw the ruins of his historical legacy scattered along the 
roadside. That’s when he was reminded of what Poppy told him
when he was a boy:  “George Walker, you’re such a pathetic
 little fuckup!”

If a glass of red wine is good for the heart, imagine what

swimming in a pool of it does for the rest of the body.

"Yessir, our new Comfort Stations for 2007 are real stepsavers,

combining a fridge, a microwave, and a toilet in a single,

easy-to-clean unit."

Augusto Pinochet, former dictator of Chile, is

celebrating 91 years of proving that the old adage,

'Crime Does Not Pay', is a pious fraud.

In Gaza, new-model-year vehicles always draw a big crowd.

As part of Fashion Week in Kazakhstan, models walked 
the runway carrying infants allegedly fathered by TV talking
 head, Borat Sagdiyev.

Even in the midst of a war zone, boys enjoy playing 
'Capture the Flag'.