Substantially fewer people are viewing/listening to his

speeches these days.  Couple this fact with his 42% job

approval rating---the lowest since he took office--and you

realize that President Obama is headed up Doo-Doo Creek

without sufficient means of propulsion.

According to a new CNN/Opinion Research

poll, only 32% of the American people view

teabaggers favorably.  If they were all dolled

up like this one, the percentage would, no

doubt, be even lower.

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #127

Somebody needs to teach President Obama not to put his

feet on the furniture. 

Justice Roberts was amused when he learned that Justice

Scalia had been fined $70 for rear-ending Justice Thomas.

"President Barack Obama has signed a secret order authorizing

covert U.S. government support for rebel forces seeking to oust

Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi, government officials told

Reuters." How can it be a 'secret order' and how can U. S.

government support for rebel forces be 'covert' when

government officials are telling Reuters and Reuters is

telling the whole world?  One might think this is an

encrypted message which, when decrypted, says: "Osama

 bin Laden is dead and the U. S. government is accepting

 applications for his replacement."

Why do we never see videos of cops beating up banksters?

O what would we do without the Science of Bracketology!

'Creationist Theme Park' Group Prez Accused

of 'Ungodly' Beard

Making $174,000 a year as a member

 of the U. S. House of Representatives,

Sean Duffy (R-WI) insists that he's

'not living high off the hog'.  You

know what that means:  1) he's

not Jewish and 2) he's a fan

of Hormel.

Oxymorons for Our Time #93

Secular Atheist Radical Islamists

US Sending Robots to Fukushima

"What are we doing in Libya?  Is it a war, is it an intervention,

or is it a squirmish?"

World's Worst Yobs #217

Scott Adams

Louis Vuitton Accused of Conspiring to Make

Nadia Plesner World-Famous

The Politico Illustrated #13

"Haley Barbour Courts Mike Huckabee"

Warm Scuzzies #168

Michelle Rhee

"Were I to describe my economic philosophy,

it would be 'Paleoclassical Tightwadism'."

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #106

Joyce Kaufman and Allen West

Whiteworld #6

"Thank you, O God, for making us white and Republican,

but please, please multiply us before it's everlastingly too

late and the brown people take over in Wisconsin!"

Glowstick Man Sez:  "No need to go to Japan;

Japan is coming to us!"

Lloyd Blankfein, CEO and Chairman of Goldman

Sachs, is looking for an 'Online Persona Management

Service' that can make him look more like the main

character in the short-lived Fox TV series, John Doe.
Interested?

Think of it!  You pay more taxes than General

Electric, America's largest corporation! 

Depending on your point of view, this fact

may make you feel either (1) more patriotic

or (2) less patriotic than Thomas Edison.

"Whaddya mean, 'Oink', boy?

Boss Hawgs don't 'Oink', they

'Grunt'.  You've obviously never

heard a Mississippi Grunt, have

you, boy?"

"OK, so I'm out of my freaking mind!  Why aren't you?"

"Stop laughing, please!  This is what we, the members of the

People's Liberation Army of China, have to do for our weekly

allowance.  Beaver Cleaver, we understand, had to do worse.

He had to appear on television in the 1950s."

Although she tried not to show it, Patti

Lyons, a Sarah Palin impersonator,

was worried that only 12% of likely

Republican primary voters indicated

in the latest polls that they would vote

for the real Sarah Palin in 2012.  "Maybe

I ought to start working on my Michele

Bachmann impersonation," she thought.

Every morning, before breakfast, Paul Broun would believe six

impossible things and then practice his pre-Rapture posture.

"I’ve said it often, and I believe it: the bigger government gets,

the smaller God gets.  Why, God is so small today, I carry

Him around in my pants pocket, along with my Buck Knife,

nail clippers, and Chapstick!"

Have shepherds, like Patrick Edouard, always had carnal

relations with their sheep?  Or is this just another

modern trend?

Allegories for Our Time #18

What Happened When the Government

Was Shut Down the Last Time

"Good evening.  I am Warren Gamaliel Harding, former

President of the United States.  I have been permitted

to momentarily come back from the dead to warn you

that Hell is hard on everybody, especially Republicans. 

Thank you."

Have you ever wondered how many guns Wayne LaPierre,

Executive Vice-President of the NRA, owns? 

Actually, Charles Koch started whining at a very early

age, even before his father, Fred Koch, became a

founding member of the John Birch Society in 1958.

FTD Anarchist

"Yes, I see what you mean.  Even in a pic taken with my

iPhone, blue letters on a red background make me wish I

had been born blind."

"Yes, as of the moment, Donald Trump certainly has my vote."

British Parliament Trying to Discern the Significance of

500,000 People in the Streets of London

Obama Administration to Roll Out New PR Campaign

 for Operation Odyssey Dawn

R. Lee Ermey, Even More Reptilian Than the Geico Gecko

To say that Dick Clark is 'America's Oldest

Living Teenager' is an overexaggeration.

Charles and David Koch see themselves as victims of

'a confused and emotional explosion of liberal hatred'.

Not many victims these days are billionaires, so a big

 'Thank You!' to everyone for helping make the Kochs

sound more and more like Muammar Gaddafi.

Do pedophiles work for Abercrombie & Fitch, or do

they just shop there?

Representative Allen West (R-FL) wants to abolish the IRS,

eliminate the income tax, cut Social Security, Medicare,

and unemployment benefits.  In addition to the things he's

against, West is for tax cuts for billionaires (so that they will

 have money to donate to charities) and a $21 million govern-

ment grant to build a runway at an airport in his district

(which is not pork, he says, since it will create jobs).  

Congressman West is not insane, by the way, even

though he looks and sounds like it.

World's Worst Yobs #216

Alexander Burns

Warm Scuzzies #167

John Lott

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #287

Don Schieferdecker

Does pot use hasten the onset of schizophrenia,

as a recent study suggests?  Well, he was of two

minds on this question.

Warm Scuzzies #166

Nikki Haley

"Who's that?"

"She's a Pole Dancer for Jesus."

"Poland sure has some strange religious customs."