Amen, Brethren!

Glenn Beck wants to know, "Why are we made to

feel bad for using the word 'Colored'?"  Well,

Glenn, it's like this:  unless you're the Invisible

Man, you are colored.  For instance, you're sort

of a Tea Rose Pink.  So, if everyone is colored,

why would anyone bother to use the word,

'Colored', to label either an individual or

group?  They would only do so if they

believed that the individual or group so

labeled should be viewed and treated

differently (usually as inferior).  Not that

long ago, Americans who had come of age

realized that 'Colored' was a relic from the

era of racial discrimination and segregation

in American history and was retired from

civilized discourse.  Got that?

The GOP's Favorite Crank

Warm Scuzzies #214

Kevin Held

World's Worst Yobs #225

Charles Payne

If comedy is good for your heart, as some researchers

are now saying, then the Republican Party's upcoming

primary season may add years to our lives.

When people meet Donald Noone on the street,

they can't resist saying, "Is that a rack of ribs

in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"

When it is said of Rick Perry that he is 'like Bush without the

brains', it means more than Karl Rove doesn't work for him.

Pam Geller's Stunt Double

Warren Jeffs in Coma, May Not Survive

Three-Day Sexual Fast

All of Rick Perry's 'thinking' is in words and takes place

in his throat, in his vocal chords--what behavioral

psychologists call 'inhibited sub-vocalization'.

"Is Rick Perry dumb?  Is the Pope catholic?  Is water wet?

These and other tantalizing questions will be explored in

next week's episode of Great Unexplained Mysteries of

the Unknown, only on The History Channel."

"I don't know how much God has to do to get the attention

of the politicians. We've had an earthquake; we've had a

hurricane. He said, 'Are you going to start listening to me

here?'  And now, if you will excuse me, I am going to roll

on the floor laughing for having made such a clever jest."

Droopy Sez:  "If, as Eric Cantor has proclaimed, we should

offset expenditures on disaster relief by budget cuts else-

where, I propose that for every dollar spent on disaster

relief, one dollar will be subtracted from the budget of

the U. S. military.  I believe this would be, as they say,

a Win-Win Situation."

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #106

The Other McCain

If you see that a hurricane is about to blow Ron Paul away,

don't call FEMA.

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #58

I Passed for White 2: the Man Who Was

Uncomfortable in His Own Skin

Roberto Arango Sez:  "You know I've been losing weight.

As I shed that weight, I've been taking pictures. I don't

remember taking this particular picture but I'm not

gonna say I didn't take it. I'd tell you if I remembered

taking the picture but I don't. You've heard of

sleepwalkers, right? Well, I a sleepshooter."

Meet James Leininger, Rick Perry's Sugar Daddy

You might think the plural of 'Doofus' is 'Doofi'.

  It's not.  It's 'Doocy'.

"Wanna see me deep throat this sucker?"

If, as Pat Robertson believes, a one-inch crack in the

Washington Monument may be a sign from God, this

is a sign from Ray Harryhausen.

These days, even the weather is ironic.  Derived from

Greek, Irene means 'peace'.

New Cheney Class Latrines Added to

U. S. Military Infrastructure

"To Win This, Rick Perry Needs to Look Less Angry,"

Says Peggy 'I Only Look Half-Baked' Noonan

"Hi, everybody!  It always makes me feel good to be in a

room filled with people as crazy as I am!"

Having Sex with Neanderthals Improves Your

Immune System, Scientists Say; Discovery 

Thought to Be Good News for Rick

Perry's Wife

Moral Equivalence Illustrated

If you want to know how government entitlement programs

 have weakened America's moral fiber, you need look no

 further than Marco Rubio. His father, Mario, was a re-

tired bartender, who lived off Social Security and Medicare

until his death in 2010.  His mother, Oria, is a retired hotel

housekeeper, living off Social Security and Medicare.

Marco himself received all his education at taxpayer expense

 from public institutions: South Miami Senior High School,

Santa Fe College, University of Florida, and University of

Miami. And, since 2000, Marco has been living off govern-

ment largesse, first as a representative in the Florida legis-

lature, and now as a U. S. Senator. No wonder, then, that

 Marco Rubio is such an intellectual lazybones and moral sloth.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #328

August Kreis

Local Man Proud Owner of Rare Gambian Pitchfork Rat

Only Muammar Gaddafi would be twisted enough to

compile a Condoleezza Rice 'stroke book'.

Congress' Approval Rating Falls to 12%; Senators and

Representatives Now Less Popular Than Acne and

Hemorrhoids

"Look, I am not an establishment figure, never have been,

and frankly, I don't want to be. I dislike Washington; I think

it's a seedy place.  And that's why I'm running for President."

CIA Heavily Edits FBI Agent's 9/11 Book

Pat Robertson Suggests Cracks in Nation's Tallest

Phallic Symbol May Be Sign from God

"If you think this job pays too much," says Representative

Steve Southerland (R-FL), "with those kinds of risks and

cutting me off from my family business, I'll just tell you:

This job don't mean that much to me.  I had a good life

in Panama City as President of Southerland Family

Funeral Homes and as founding partner of Genesis

Granite & Stone."

Oxymorons for Our Time #107

Southern Charm

Martin Luther King, Jr., as Glenn Beck Remembers Him

Sure, Zimbabwe has Robert Mugabe,

but the U. S. has Rush Limbaugh.

Sheyla Hershey, Owner and Operator of the

World's Largest Bustline,  Doesn't Last the

First Round of NBC's The Last Comic

Standing Erect

"I'm going down

I'm going, down, down, down

Down, down

Yes, I'm going down, yes

I'm going down, down, down

Down, down."

"Time, time and again I see you staring down at me

Now, then and again I wonder what it is that you see

with those Crazy Eyes."

LeAnn Rimes Explodes Over Weight Comment

Quake Causes President Obama to Miss Crucial Putt

Twin Peaks Breastaurant Chain Declares War on Hooters

Christine O'Donnell had tweeted a warning about

the impending East Coast quake, but most people

ignored it, thinking it was just a magic spell she

 was putting on Piers Morgan.

Officials are saying that the WMD which were supposed to

 have been in Iraq in 2003 have been found in Libya, 1800

miles away. They blame the finding error on a faulty

gyrocompass.

Warm Scuzzies #213

Gordon Lamont Moon