So much for the idea of climbing a tree to

 escape from a bear!

Senator McCain Has a 'Two Minutes Hate Bergdahl' Moment

Famous Squirrel Eater Mocks North Koreans for

Eating Squirrel Dogs

New Study Provides More Proof That

 a Glass of Red Wine Is Good for You

Ben Shapiro, the Madman in the Amish Hat

Christopher Columbus's first words when he reached

land in the New World were "Buona festa di Cristoforo 

Colombo" (Happy Columbus Day!).

University of Texas Students

to Protest Concealed Carry

of Firearms on Campus with

Open Carry of Dildos

Ted Cruz Unveils 'Behavioral Micro-Targeting', the Next

Phase of His Audacious 'Base Plus' Strategy to Woo the

Owners of Ford F-150s

“I was all set to go wild, now I can’t go wild. I’m actually 

saying, ‘I wish he had hit me, I wish he had hit me'!"

"I never told that Benghazi staffer to focus on Hillary.

Cross my heart and hope to die!"

Charles Koch Sez:  "What we're after is to fight against

special interests."

[Koch Industries, you see, is a nonprofit 

public service organization.]

When asked why he tried to sneak into Vermont from

Canada, Karl Marx said he just wanted to give Bernie

Sanders a hug.

"Ruben Tejada learned the hard way not to say to me,

'Don't use that greasy kid stuff'."

"Eeek! the Freedom Caucus!"

White Privilege means not getting shot by police for 

doing exactly the same thing a Black person does.

The Donald Sisters

Outraged at the idea of girls receiving free birth 

control, Bristol Palin is founding a new unwed

mothers' group, Unplanned Parenthood.

As Mark rattled on, David couldn't believe the old

fartknocker was still alive.

World's Worst Yobs #338

Matt Latimer

Anarchists Walk Among Us

The House GOP is in over its head.  Would somebody

please call Roto-Rooter?

Daniel Webster for 

House Speaker

'Leadership for the 19th Century'

"Yes, I'm the Brain Specialist and I understand your

brain hurts. Well, it will have to come out."

Now that Kevin McCarthy is out of the House Speaker

race, is it time for Louie Gohmert to make his move?

Keep in mind that the Speaker of the House of 

Representative Bedlamites is third in line to

become President of the United States.

Your Mission, Should You Choose to

Accept It

Trump Hat Worn by Wading Bird Fancier

Strumpet with a Trumpet

Fake Rupert Murdoch

Real Rupert Murdoch

Dick Cheney and Pinky Lee to Endorse

Kevin McCarthy for Speaker of the

House of Representatives

NATO Ready to Defend Turkey

If Marco Rubio is elected, plans are already in place 

to construct a White House Aqueduct to handle 

expected Presidential thirst emergencies.

Bankrupt 50 Cent Not Worth a Plugged Nickel

What to Do When Killer Tomatoes Attack

The chickens have indeed come home to roost 

in the Underwater State.

Ben Carson Suggests Stocking Up on Guns and Canned

Pumpkin for the Fall

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #638

Ron Ramsey

Donald Trump, CEO of All the 

Man Buns

Donald Trump Warns That Bringing Gandhi 

Impersonators to the U.S. Could Launch a 

Nonviolent Coup

On one hand, Carly Fiorina has nothing to offer.

  On the other hand, she also has nothing to offer.

"As you can see, America, my mouth is yoooge, yoooger 

than any of my GOP opponents!"

God answers prayers, but he replies in a private language

no one else understands.

The Unexpurgated Bible #119

"Surely there had not been left in San Francisco by the 

morning light any that pisseth against the pee-repellent wall."

Misfits Vocalist Challenges Donald Trump to 'Full Frontal 

Combover' Contest

Dianna Duran, New Mexico's Secretary of State, has been

charged with 65 crimes, including identity theft, fraud,

embezzlement, and money laundering.  She is believed

to have set a new record for the number of criminal

charges levelled against a GOP officeholder.

Lemony Snicket to Launch 'A Series of Unfortunate 

Comments', a New Series of Children's Novels Featuring 

Jeb Bush

Researchers find that Plastic Man's

mortal enemy is the tiny mealworm.

Will his superhero license be revoked?

Jason Chaffetz Enters House Speaker's Race, Saying He

 Possesses the Extrudable Tongue and Camouflage Skills

 Kevin McCarthy Lacks

Among Augustus Sol Invictus's many qualifications as a

Libertarian Party candidate for the U.S. Senate in Florida

 is his 'winning, professional handshake' and his intention

 to start the Second American Civil War.