Rude Rhymes #31

 Pamprin for Men

Mark Halperin

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #78

Donald Douglas and Pam Geller

"Not very long for a King, is it, Steve?"

After six months, the food was plastic to the touch

and had an acrylic sheen to it.

But it was still happy.

"Props to Carl Paladino for renting space for Buddies II,

our bear/leather bar!"

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #236

Scott Bruun

"After November, Republicans will feel more responsible

 and may offer serious proposals and work with me in

a serious way.  Hmmm, these paint fumes are sure

making me feel funny."

Scientists Stumped by Bulldog Bee

Colony Collapse Disorder

Drowning Man About to Go Down for the Third Time

Did you know that members of the 'Our Gang' comedies

had a secret sign?  Pope Pius XII did.

"Step on it, dear!  We don't want to miss Joe
Miller's Libertarian rant about the welfare
state and fiscal responsibility."

"Compared to what I have to go through every morning,"

says Neel Kashkari, "shaving a beaver is a piece

of cake."

"Just curious, Mr. Blankfein, but when you and your kind need
a place to stuff $144 billion in new bonuses, how long do you
have to stand in line at Mattress Giant?"

"Believe me, in Poland, 'Murkowski' is much easier
to spell than either 'Smith' or 'Johnson'."

For every Australian Prime Minister looking down

her nose, there are 22 million Australians looking

the other direction.

In case you're unfamiliar with Arabic, the steam rising

from this bowl of Campbell's new Halal-certified soup

means, when roughly translated into English,
'Mmm, Mmm, Good!'"

"Do you want to know what happened to

the last guy who pronounced my first

name with an H in it?"

What does Joe Miller do in his spare time, when he and his
family aren't receiving Medicaid payments, low-income
hunting and fishing licenses, farm subsidies, and
unemployment benefits?
[Hint: Joe has seven kids, with one on the way.]

V8 V-Fusion with Green Tea:  Light, Refreshing,

and Gets You Higher Than a Kite

"Raindrops keep falling on my head

But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red

Crying's not for me

Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'

Because I'm free

Nothing's worrying me."

"I would join the March to Keep Fear Alive, but

I'm scared enough as it is."

Alaska Couple Enters Their Second

Childhood in Style

"To my Alabama way of thinking, winning the Nobel Prize in

Economics is just one more reason Peter Diamond isn't

qualified to be on the Board of Governors of the Federal

Reserve System."

"To be quite honest, I need this Senate job

to pay off my $100,000 campaign loan, my

$35,000 credit card debt, and my $15,000

student loan."

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #235

Ken Buck

Christopher Columbus Discovers the Capital of Ohio

On October 18, Kristin Davis, the first woman to run for

Governor in a general election in New York history, will

be debating Andrew Cuomo and Carl Paladino.  Among

the rhetorical strategies she is considering are the 'Eliot

Spitzer Hook' and the 'A-Rod Grand Slam'.

How You Can Tell the Limbaugh Triplets Apart

Byron Williams Sez:

"Ow! Got it bad,

Got it bad,

Got it bad,

I'm hot for teacher!

I've got it bad, so bad

I'm hot for Glenn Beck!"

"As I understand it, Congressman Cantor, you draw the line

when you are asked to play a Jew in a historical re-enactment

of Auschwitz.  Would you care to explain to your constituents

why you're so opposed to educating them about World War II?"

"Do you remember, Fedor, when your parents first

started calling you the 'Republican-Faced Boy'?"

"Oh, I have a piece of brain stuck in my head. 

Oh, my head hurts!"

"Remember:  like beauty, ugliness is in the
eye of the beholder."

"Actually, I had my wrists augmented

 first, then my tits.  "

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #234

Allen West

 First Stage of Lycanthropy

Last Stage

 Sandy Liddy Bourne Wearing Mink

Mink Wearing Sandy Liddy Bourne

"Have you heard the latest?  Linda McMahon

and WWE have agreed to promote my latest

media adventure.  It's called GrifterMania!,

and it'll make Hulk Hogan look like Justin

Bieber!"



"Carl, you've definitely got a lock on the Ultraorthodox Jewish

vote.  And, amazingly enough, you did it without growing a
beard or wearing a funny hat!"

As you can see, this Libertarian is on fire.

Do not put him out.  Do not call the fire

department.  He needs to be taught a

lesson in personal responsibility.

In 2010, Carl Paladino gave heterosexuality a bad name, from

which it never recovered.

"I'm like Ann Coulter:  I never attack

down; I always attack up."

If you could see her shoes,

you would know that Ann

Coulter is really Judy Garland
in drag.

Have you heard One Size Fits All, the new

Tribute-to-Tribute-Bands Band?

In his first year of eligibility and by a
unanimous vote, Governor Rick
Perry of Texas has been inducted into
the Gutless Coward Hall of Shame.

Ohio Republican Played Nazi Dress-Up

to 'Bond' with Transvestite Son

Of the United States it hath been written, "For what shall it
profit a nation, if it shall gain the whole world, and lose its
own soul?"

North Korean Young'un Likes

to Go Nuclear