Friday, August 08, 2014

Victoria Jackson Loses in Tennessee Election, 
Changes Name to Loseria Jackson
Said the man who had blown off his right butt-cheek,
"You omitted #1:  It’s dangerous to stick a gun in your
 pants.”
Because it makes them hallucinate John 'The Eraser' Kruger 
saying, "You're luggage!"
Sign of the Times #58
Q: How many Aggies does it take
to tell a Rick Perry joke?
A:  One, unless it's Louie
Gohmert telling it.
War Criminal Arrested on Canadian Border; 
Dick Cheney's Dr. Evil Disguise Doesn't Fool 
Border Patrol
No joekstra, Pete's a disgrace.

Thursday, August 07, 2014

Warm Scuzzies #491
Blue Plate Restaurant Company
Bold Head Transplant Experiment
Now Underway in Ukrainian Laboratory
of Democracy
Sign of the Times #57
Don't Forget the Cheese!
World's Worst Yobs #310
Craig Shirley
Not since St. Thomas Aquinas formulated his version of the 
Cosmological Argument for the existence of God has so 
much been attributed to a First Cause like Barack Obama.
NRA Removes Video Calling for Arming the Blind, Says 
Requiring All Sighted Persons to Wear Braille Cammies 
"Not Cost Effective"
Whiteworld #20
The only way white people will be
able to survive the 'war on whites'
is to camouflage themselves
as the five white people in this
 photograph have done.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #588
Gavin Ellzey
Scientists Worry New Ebola Virus Strain Will Turn
Victims into Detestable Harpies
Oxymorons for Our Time #170
International Law
Victor Davis Hanson Sez:  "Hey, Israelis snuffing
Gazans is just like General Sherman marching
through Georgia."
[What?  Is the professor trying to turn Southern
Baptists against Israel?]

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

World's Worst Yoobs #146
Campbell Brown
"When Senator Paul ran away from 
that DACA girl, he was supposed
 to meet me here for an interview."
"Whatcha grillin'?"
"A Bacon-Wrapped Gator Gobbling a Turducken."
The Day Dick Cheney Forgot That Dark Glasses Don't
Sell Donuts
Daffy Amash Calls GOP Primary Opponent 'Dethspicable!'
Son of Man on God's Side Arrested for Probation Violation
When Pat Roberts proved that, at 78, he could still make fists 
and raise them above his head, the sagacious Republicans of
Kansas gave him the green light for another term in the
Senate.

Tuesday, August 05, 2014

"Drink to me only with thy lies and I will pledge not to whine."
Rude Rhymes #79

Kidney Stones

Walter Jones
How the President Creates His Watchlist of Students
Suspected of Cheating on Their Constitutional Law Exams
In light of the recent exposé, Move America Forward 
is changing its name to Move Grifters Forward.
Rand Paul was all tuckered out after he bolted
 and ran away from Dream Act Coalition member
 Erika Andiola.
Didn't Steve King's mother teach him it's not polite
to point?
Warm Scuzzies #490
Victor Pierce
Superfluous Redundancies #4
Lying Crapweasel Rand Paul
If you need a short-and-snappy argument against "a rational,
 vested state interest in procreation," think:  Greg Abbott.
HSBC Chairman Doug Flint Blames 12% Drop in Profits
on Regulatory Clampdown on Money Laundries
Guy Shoots, Kills Himself While Taking Selfie; 
Will Miss Darwin Awards Ceremony
'Drug Mule' Found With 14-Inch Incision and 
Calves the Size of Cantaloupes

Monday, August 04, 2014

"They're creepy and they're kooky, 
Mysterious and spooky, 
They're all together ooky, 
The Gherkin Family." 
Adventures in Lexicology #16
Igmo (ĭg'mō), n. An ignorant person; abbreviated form 
of ignoramus. [When he says Democrats have launched 
a 'war on whites', Mo Brooks is an igmo.]
"Of course, I'm grotesque!  I'm a BrennanClapper
for chrissakes!"
Israel's murder of schoolchildren in Gaza would be impossible 
without the constant lavish support and protection of the U.S. 
government.  And the U. S. government would be power-
less without our tax dollars.  So we are all accessories 
before the fact, whether we like it or not.
"Now go away, or I shall self-impeach a 
second time!"

Sunday, August 03, 2014

Rightbloggers and Other 
Internet Biohazards #151
Melissa
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #587
Twinkle Andress Cavanaugh
Citizens of Rosenberg, Texas, Say, "Let's Get 
God Back in Schools and Police Off Our Streets!"
I Remember Dubya #63
Some were cedars in his generation, but Dubya was just
 a Bush, a lowly shrub.
Like Ebola Virus Disease, there is no known cure for
Donald Trump.
Sign of the Times #56
Even the Chief of the Blue Meanies
fears him.
Like Mexico, Toledo is a nice place to visit, but don't
drink the water.
Larry, Curly, and Mo