My Little Punkin'

"How am I losing to these people?”

[Maybe we should tell Lindsey, because 

he's apparently the last to not know.]

On the same day WHO warned that

processed meats can cause cancer,

Jon Stewart announced he was 

opening a Bacon, Ham, and Sausage

Sanctuary.

Donald Trump Sez: "It's not been easy for me, so my father

 gave me a small loan of $1 million from his piggy bank."

"Speak softly and carry on, for the Kingdom of Carson is 

at hand."

Blowback to Brownback Sees GOP Governor's Approval

Rating Fall to 18%, Ten Percentage Points Lower 

than President Obama's

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #121

Heck No! Sharron Angle Has Risen from the Grave

Bush Family Gathering to Save HMS Jeb!

Two Arguments Against Yoga Pants

Marco 'Big Gulp' Rubio to Retire from

Senate After Only One Term as 'The 

Republican Savior'

Brent Nicholson Sez:  "I'm the NRA!"

Zaq Landsberg Declares Statehood, Has Plans for 

Saber-Rattling As Soon as He Can Afford One

Hatchethead Making the Sign of FUBAR

Is this a picture of Chris Christie being booted out of 

Amtrak's 'Quiet Car' while carrying a McDonald's

Strawberry Smoothie, or is it a picture of a big chunk of

 mysterious space trash that has collided with the Earth?

Jeb Bush Campaign Logo (Original)

Jeb Bush Campaign Logo (Extra Crispy)

Hillary Clinton Enjoying a Martha Roby Gobstopper

at the Benghazi Hearings

Fearguth will be spending the next four days at

Art Outside.  He will be back online by 

next Monday, October 26.

Yesterday, Bill Kristol tweeted, "Biden confirms to

 Obama at lunch today he's running, announces at

 U Delaware tomorrow. You can feel the Joementum!" 

Today, Biden announced he's not running, saying, "I 

wanted to make Bill Kristol look like Jimmy Neutron, 

Boy Genius."

After 250 days of pointless Biden speculation, says

The Politico, it's time for 250 days of pointless 

Biden postmortems.

Inflatable Donald Trump Doll for

Asexuals

Starving Granny Sez: "I bet you wish you could cut me down

With those Zombie Eyes."

Spider Suffering from Anthropophobia Afraid to Sit Down 

Beside Little Miss Muffet

"I'll serve as Speaker but only if I can spend 

more time with the Munsters."

"I'm descended from a long line of Brats."

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #181

David Bossie and Theodore Olson

Paul Ryan will serve as Speaker if 

[ranked in the order of probability]

(1) Martin Shkreli is canonized as a saint,

(2) cars can fly on Back to the Future Day,

(3) the GOP unites behind him.

Donald Trump and Sam Clovis Doing Their

Laurel and Hardy Routine

Bobby Jindal Dreaming of That Day Last July When He 

Peaked at 2% in the GOP Presidential Preference Polls

They said of Stephen Harper as he exited stage right,

"He's still strong in the prairies."

American Schutzstaffel #55

"Ain't he sweet? See him walking down that street

Yes, I ask you very confidentially, ain't he sweet?"

Justin Trudeau Involved in Stunning Canadian

Electoral Upset

Americans have so many fears they can be grouped into

'domains'.  Whatever happened to that 'Home of the

Brave' we sing about in our national anthem?

In the list of the 88 things Americans fear most in 2015, 

Ted Cruz comes in at #83, between Zombies and Clowns.

Jim Webb Considering Independent Bid in 'My-Ego-Is-

Bigger-Than-Trump's' Contest

In anticipation of Hillary Clinton's testimony before the

House Select Committee on Benghazi, Chairman Trey

Gowdy has taken steps to soften his image.

What Goes Around Comes Around

"Director Brennan, in light of a high-school stoner hacking

your AOL email account, isn't it time to change the name

of your agency from 'Central Intelligence Agency' to just

'Central Agency'?"

World's Worst Yobs #339

Milo Yiannopoulos

Nice Pear

Did you know Jay Carney, former Obama Administration

press secretary, now barks for Amazon?

Donald Trump says if he had a Time Machine, he would

go back to December 7, 1941, and prevent Japan's attack

 on Pearl Harbor.

When someone scuffed his Tiddies,

Hatchethead had a sad.

Pumpkin Surgeons Have More Fun!

Trey Gowdy Sez:  “I would say in some ways these have 

been among the worst weeks of my life. Attacks on your 

character, attacks on your motives, being called 

'Needlenose', are 1,000-times worse than anything 

you can do to anybody physically — at least it is for me.”

Puerto Rican GOP Senator Roberto 'Grindr' Arango

China now has more billionaires (596) than the United

States (537).  The time has obviously come to give the

1% another tax cut.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #639

Jason Villalba