Daniel Vettori is the only cricket star who has

his very own planet.

World's Worst Yoobs #10

Charmaine Yoest

Besides enjoying honey-roasted peanuts, have

you ever thanked a bee for being so busy?

"Butt-Head, did you hear Metallica is gonna play at Bonnaroo!"

"Beavis, will the world's tallest phallic symbol be there, too?"

"One day, that copy of Newsweek is going to be worth a

lot of money on eBay."

"Sweet Jesus! It's ridiculous enough that I'm performing

this stunt at all. But to do it in celebration of the first day

of The Year of the Rat is, well, totally absurd. I hate rats!

I've always hated rats. I hate rats even more than I hate

Colonel Sanders."

World's Worst Jobs #74

Sudanese Mud Brick Maker

Even the Yellow Pit Viper has enough sense to

stop and smell the flowers.

Expect the unexpected during your next stay at the

Red Carpet Inn in beautiful downtown Ft. Lauderdale.

The Decider Awaiting Instructions on

What and How to Decide Next

"I may be only 30% in the polls, but I still know how

to scare the bejeezus out of Senate Democrats."

Undecided Voter Also Has Hard Time Choosing His Poison

The new sport of 'Mirko Flinging' is really catching on.

GOP Ship Sinking Faster Than 28 Republican Rats in

the House of Representatives Can Abandon It

German Police Arrest Terrorist for Wearing Explosive Gut

A man blows a bubble on Bildungblog. Eavesdroppers at the

CIA, FBI, DIA, and NSA don't get the joke, but laugh anyway.

American Empire #20

Full-Spectrum Dominance

World's Biggest Christ Struck by Lightning; Theologians

Reject Suggestion of IntraTrinity Power Struggle

Bushidō Down Under

Ἀταραξία: Freedom from Worry or Any Other Preoccupation

"I said, 'BIG FISH EAT LITTLE FISH!'"

Dog Showing You How to Walk the Dog

"Please put down your weapon. You have 15 seconds to comply."

Painting Stealing Itself from Art Museum

Secretary of Defense Overcome by Emotion by the Dozens 
of Iraqis Killed and Wounded During His Latest Visit 
to Baghdad

Presidential Candidate Stunned by Baby's First Words:

"Barack and Roll Hoochie Koo!"

In soccer, cutting in line is a virtue, not a vice.

"Fly me to the moon

And let me play among the stars

Let me see what spring is like

On Jupiter and Mars."

Wide Receiver or Tight End? NFL Jury Still Out

Luke Esser, chairman of the Republican Party in the state of

Washington, denies he learned voter suppression techniques

from watching the machinations of Jefferson Davis 'Boss'

Hogg in reruns of The Dukes of Hazzard.

Fearguth's Rules of Order #10

If you expect a chimp to watch Bedtime for Bonzo,

have plenty of carrots on hand.

Chocolate hats are devoured long before

they can become unfashionable.

Herbie Hancock Showing Off His New iVictrola

President Bush Attempting to Hypnotize a Falcon

Texas Governor Asks Huckabee To Drop Out;

Huckabee Tells Texas Governor to Drop Dead

Amy Winehouse's Tattoos Take Top Honors at

50th Annual Grammy Awards

Palestinian Woman Now Regrets Hiring

Non-Union Israeli Movers

Does anybody know a good fish eyeballs and roe recipe?

Those wacky Dusseldorfers! What do they know about U. S. politics?

Novak Djokovic Tastes Chin for First Time,

Indicates It Makes Him Want to Hurl

"Another goddam misfire, Hillary! You hit your campaign

manager instead of that dickhead from MSNBC!"

Saint Valentine was so holy he was martyred 
three times: in 269, in 270, and then again in 273. 
 His annual feast on February 14 is the occasion for
 the display of his sacred relics, which inspires

romance around the world.

By 2008, waterboarding had been excluded from the definition

of torture. In 2010, drawing and quartering was excluded from

the definition of execution.

E. J. Dionne, Jr., Cast Out of Polite Society

for Egregious Puns

"I hope that spanking was as good for you

as it was for me."

"Iraq's still not in civil war, America's still not in recession,

and I'm still not in captivity. History is clearly on my side."

"This ain't no ski resort! This is a bleedin' skinhead rally!"

Sarko the Giant Angrily Denies Reports He Is Growing Shorter

A Show of Hands for Arcimboldo

Weenie Todd, the Demon Butcher of Fleet Street