"As I said before, I thought I was speaking to fans of 

Duck Dynasty, not Duke Dynasty!"

It had been another bad-hair year for Kim Jong-un.

Steve Scalise Sez:  "Do I look like someone who would

address a white supremacist conference?"

[Well, now that you ask, it would be harder to 

imagine you addressing the NAACP.]

Mel Brooks (Age 88) and Carl Reiner (Age 92)

Engaged in a Non-Vulcan Mind Meld

The fake Alamo has fallen into disrepair.

So has the fake Davy Crockett who died there.

Remember Bucky Beaver?

Ted Nugent does.

Ramses II Bans Remake of the Exodus

Warm Scuzzies #525

Timothy Zoll

"Pull up a chair and make yourself

comfortable," the Vice President

said.

A new study shows how the Ku Klux Klan 

in the South abandoned the Democratic Party 

and flocked to the Republican Party in 

droves.  In other words, the spots didn't 

change down South, just the leopard.

Shakir Waheib Named Chief Financial Officer and

Comptroller of the Islamic State Group, Inc.

Oxymorons for Our Time #173

Conservative Media Ethics

United States Formally Ends Afghanistan War, Now Seeks 

New War to Lose in the Middle East

"Well, yeah, there are days when I get tired of just 

hanging here.  But that's when I take a look on the 

bright side and realize the police and the military 

are keeping me safe."

If Rush Limbaugh ever decides to run for political office, 

he could use one of William Howard Taft's 1908 presi-

dential campaign slogans:  "He's white, he's male, he's 

bigger than a whale!"

Warm Scuzzies #524

North Eastern Massachusetts

Law Enforcement Council

After a hard day on the protest lines, it was time to 

kick back and relax.

Libyans Celebrating Arab Winter

Meet New York State Trooper

Rosenblatt.  Just another

arrogant Bullethead.

World's Worst Yoobs #152

Katie Pavlich

The NYPD has become the 

Westboro Baptist Church

of police departments.

As you can tell from this chart, oil barrels have become 

smaller and smaller over the past few months.

"What do you mean 'illegal alien', puny Earthling?"

Allegories for Our Time #29

From the Hayes Mansion, you can see 34 billionaires,

but you cannot see 7,600 homeless people living on 

the streets in San Jose, California.

Wondering how to dispose of your Christmas Tree?

Call Goat Grazers!

Michael Whitington:  Bank Robber and the

Man Who Put the 'Mug' into Mugshot

Alaska, North Dakota, Delaware, and Maine Billionaire

Drought Blamed on Global Warming

David Vitter Stands Up to North Korea

But, who will change the baby's diaper while the

adult family members are at the movie?

When he was called a "flagrantly partisan and majestically

 useless government watchdog," Darrell Issa's anger alarm

went off.

Layton Landis (Age 88) Sez:  “I don’t know, it just comes 

out. You know, ‘cats and dogs and little nigger babies’ is 

about as old as I am.”

[This elected member of the Oro Loma Sanitary

District plans to live to 102 and become, he hopes,

the 'World's Oldest Racist'.]

Augie Doggie was beginning to

have his doubts about Doggie

Daddy.

Critics are saying American Sniper is Clint Eastwood's 

best effort since he lectured an empty chair at the 2012 

Republican National Convention.

Jeb Bush Quits Company That Profited from 

Obamacare; Will He Take the Money and Run?

Barack and Friends Doing Their Impression of

The Queen of England

Any decent Congressman will wear a hazmat suit when 

anywhere in the vicinity of Michael Grimm.

Rumor has it that Sony has already started developing

a sequel to The Interview, with Vladimir Putin in the

role of Seth Rogen and Steven Seagal in the role of

James Franco.  The working title is believed to

be The Job Offer, and Kim Jong-un has tentatively

agreed to have a hissy fit and threaten to nuke 

Liechtenstein as part of the film's marketing

and advertising campaign.

Two-Minute Haters #46

Greg Gutfeld

'Twas the Night Before Boxing Day

"Voices shouting in the street, life lived to a ragged beat

Someone's world is tumbling down, and who's the saint 

and where's the clown?

Life's a dance, put on your dancing shoes, take a chance."

Among bareback sheep riders, cussing seems to be

getting more common over time.

Thanks to his dutiful daughter, Fearguth has upgraded

 from The Elf on the Shelf to The Lumberjack on the Shelf.

"I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day."

Nice alliteration, but he left out

'Grifting'.

The Unexpurgated Bible #109

"For unto us an economic stimulus is born, 

unto us prosperity is given."

Oxymorons for Our Time #172

Intelligence Oversight Board

Merry McChristmas!

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #177

Mickey Kaus and Robert Stacy McCain