How Rick Santorum Gives CPR

Santorum: "Make me a zombie."

Bartender: "God beat me to it."

Stormy Reminded Him of Ivanka, Ivanka Reminded Him

of Melania, Melania Reminded Him of Karen, Karen

Reminded Him of Marla, Marla Reminded Him of Ivana,

Et Fucking Cetera

Trump Sez: "Fame & fortune will 

NEVER be turned down by a lawyer."

Jenk and Slezak Spooked by Synthetic Protoplasm

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #722

John Cardillo

Robert Jeffress Sez: "Jesus was not this wimpy little guy 

who walked around munching sunflower seeds and saying

nice things to people."

Rick Santorum Performing CPR on

Screw-Shaped Soft Serve

When she was considering a run against then-Senator 

David Vitter in 2009, Stormy Daniels said her campaign

 slogan would be 'Stormy Daniels: Screwing People 

Honestly'.

Before Stormy Monday, There's Stormy Sunday

Adventures in Aestheticism #9

Not even Fox News can deny the obvious about how

Americans feel about proposals to end gun violence.

Most people agree Ted Cruz does the best impression of

the Southern Talibaptist leader, Ayatollah Assahola.

Skanky McWanker Doing Her Ann Coulter Impression

Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao Declares

'National Infrastructure Week'

Donald Trump Sez: ""I have a great relationship with the 

800,000 people in Washington today who celebrated my 

choosing John Bolton to be my National Security Adviser."

And Goliath Was Smitten That Day by a 

Roomful of Davids Armed with Smooth 

Round River Rocks

Tomi Lahren wants everyone to know her

Steely Dan is black, semi-automatic, and

close to home.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, 

who's the fairest fink of all?"

John Bolton, a Rootin' Tootin' Pop-Gun Shootin' 

Chickenhawk

World's Worst Jobs #144

Dhaka Sewer Cleaner

Look at the Fox News home page today and you wouldn't

know hundreds of thousands marched all over America

in support of legislative action to end gun violence. If you

 don't see it on Fox, it didn't happen. And if you saw it on

 Fox, it probably didn't happen, either.

Where Lightning Goes When It Dies

How could we possibly forget that Easter is on 

April Fool's Day this year?

Peace Talks Now Underway Between Donald 

Trump's Hair and John Bolton's Mustache

The best thing that can be said about John Bolton is he 

contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.

Greedheads Galore #50

Carl Paladino

Trump Signs Spending Bill, Throws Alt-Right

Under the Omnibus

On January 26, the Dow peaked at 26,616.  

It closed today at 23,533. It has lost 3,083 points. 

How long will we have to wait for Trump to take

 credit for this?

The Look Stinky Zinke Gives You When You Ask

About That $139,000 Door Project

"I will never sign another bill like this again."

Flag Desecration #107

Warm Scuzzies #787

Bill Post

It's National Puppy Day!

Tough Talk from David 'Whack-Whack' Brooks

John Bolton Paid Cambridge Analytica to Make

 Facebook Users Less ‘Limp Wristed’ about War

"O Oysters, come and walk with me!'

The Boss Walrus did beseech."

The Trump Family Satirizing the Mothers of Invention

Satirizing the Beatles

Truth in Advertising #14

The Peters Principle

Narcissus Bird

Gamera can kick UltraBiden's ass, too.

Great Pacific Garbage Pail Kids Patch Covers

 600,000 Square Miles, Twice the Size of Texas 

or Three Times the Size of France

Kevin Williamson, Rasputin of the Plains, Decides

 to Swim The Atlantic

Washington, D. C., Skyline Now Features the

John Bolton National Monument

Asked what the two funniest words in the English

language are, Barack Obama replied, "John Bolton!"

"What's that?"

"Trump just dropped John Bolton on Washington, D. C."

Ice Cream Is a Girl's Best Friend

YouTube is banning gun videos. Now they're reappearing 

on GunPornHub.

500,000 Smoke Detectors Recalled for Not Detecting Smoke

Question of the Day