Tarantinostein's Monster

Larry Ward Sez: "If African Americans had been given 

the right to keep and bear arms from day one of the 

country's founding, perhaps slavery might not have

 been a chapter in our history."  

[One big fact stands in the path of this historical hypothetical:  

slavery had been a chapter in 'our history' for over 150 years 

before 'our country' was founded.]

There are four law professors in the United States who 

should be laughed off the North American continent:  

Glenn Reynolds, Ann Althouse, William Jacobson, 

and John Yoo.  But, due to the longstanding tradi-

tion of Systematic Moronization, they haven't been.

Attorney General Cuccinelli Embraces Civil

Disobedience, Goes to Jail in Fight Against

Contraception Mandate

American Schutzstaffel #11

"Yes, I understand my membership in the NRA includes 

a $2,500 insurance policy to protect against theft, 

accidental loss, or damage to my rocket-propelled 

grenade launcher."

If Donald Trump Were Italian

Who Ian Anderson Had in Mind When He 

Composed 'Thick as a Brick'

James Yeager Sez:  "I'm not fucking putting up with 

this. I am not letting my country be ruled by a dictator.

 I'm not letting anybody take my guns. If it goes one 

inch further, I'm gonna start killing people."

[James must be 'a good guy with a gun' who will stop

'a bad buy with a gun'.]

Remember when the Hansons and the Palins were

all smiles at the wedding of Track and Britta?  

That was in May, 2011.  Three months later,

the newlyweds had a daughter, and then,

in December 2012, Track filed for divorce.

Ah, the stuff of which reality shows are

made of.

Dragonfly Stunned to Learn

'Doomsday Asteroid' Even

Bigger than Thought

Graphologists are saying that Jack Lew's signature is

 actually just a string of zeroes which seems appropriate

 for a Secretary of the Treasury of the United States 

these days.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #456

James Tracy

Warm Scuzzies #356

Taco Cid

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #455

Bill Zedler

Alex Jones Goes Full-Auto Batshit Crazy on CNN,

Flies Up Piers Morgan's Fundament

Larry Klayman Escapes from Bedlam, Starts Calling

in Arabic for a New American Revolution

On Chick-fil-A® Appreciation Day, you ate a chicken 

sandwich.  On Gun Appreciation Day (scheduled for 

January 19), you ______________.

Krugman Endorses Plan to Mint Trillion Dollar 

Platinum Coins as Alternative to Recurrent Debt

Ceiling Crises and Government Shutdowns

'Young Reformers Rule the Senate', The Politico 

headline declares.  The 'young reformers' are Jeff 

Merkley (D-OR) and Tom Udall (D-NM).  Merkley 

is 56, Udall is 64.  To call them 'young reformers' 

is like calling an income of $250,000 a year 

'middle-class'.

"I don’t think what Washington needs is more compromise.

I think what Washington needs is more Ted Cruz."

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #454

Matt Salmon

Steve Palazzo, Mississippicrite

‘Pocket Hose’ Demonstration on Fox & Friends Goes 

Horribly Awry; Brian Kilmeade Promises to Not Pull

It Out on Camera Ever Again

Gerard Depardoodoo Goes Galt, 

Becomes Putin's Poodlepoo

"Unlike Nancy Pelosi, there’s no facelift with me. 

I am who I is."

The Joy of Irony

Uh-oh, looks like Sister Michele is

dry humping the ottoman again.

Having recently undergone an Empathobotomy, Rep. 

Steven Palazzo (R-MS), whose Mississippi district is 

situated on the Gulf Coast and which received federal 

disaster relief for Hurricane Katrina in 2005, voted 

against a $9.7 billion relief package to victims of 

Hurricane Sandy.

Icelandair:  We Fly You to Iceland in Style and Comfort. 

Book Online Now!

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #453

Marion Hammer

One of the 70 different ingredients in a McRib sandwich 

is azodicarbonamide, "a flour-bleaching agent most 

commonly used in the manufacture of foamed 

plastics like gym mats and the soles of shoes."  But

this ingredient only accounts for its texture; it is not 

what gives the McRib its distinctive flavor.  That

is produced by the “pig bits like tripe, heart, and 

scalded stomach.”  

Residents of Gilmer, Texas, in Mourning After Maggie

Gallagher Announces the Retirement of Her 17-Year-Old

Syndicated Column

World's Worst Yobs #274

Phelim McAleer

A new study out of Texas A&M shows that 

homicides are up 7% to 9% in the 23 states which 

have passed 'Stand Your Ground' laws since 2005. 

Is anyone surprised?

"I've noticed that the reaction to my on-screen rants

 has fallen off of late, so I've decided to supplement 

them with some really irate shadow puppetry."

"What's it like, Mr. Sullivan, to be one out of 

7,089,324,045 people living on one out of 

100,000,000,000 planets in the Milky Way Galaxy?"

To pay $19.99 a year for full access to Andrew 

Sullivan on the Internet would be what is 

commonly called 'a senseless act of violence'.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #452

Glenn Grothman

"But John, as much as you would like for me to perform

'sexual intracourse', it's just not physically possible."

BBC Reporter Claims to Have Found Scientologists’ 

‘Alien Space Cathedral’ Inside Tom Cruise's Head

House GOP Leaders Adopt New Color-Coded Voting

Alert System:  Green Necktie = Yes, Red Necktie = No

Breaking News Mashups #6

'Scientists Find House GOP Leader's Blood 

in Ancient Gourd'

"Where's the rest of me?"

It's hard to imagine a more absurd way of dying than

being crushed to death in a human stampede.

Would 2013 be the year when he found out what an 

'Open Marriage' with Newt Gingrich might be like?

If milk goes over the cliff, will cookies follow?

Although David Rivera (R-FL) went down to defeat in 

the November elections, it's never too late in Fearguth's

 world to celebrate the political demise of one of the

most corrupt of Marco Rubio's BFF's.

Dana Loesch is a:

(1) “Nationally Recognized 

Conservative Talk Radio Host”

(2) “Speaker for the Tea Party 

Movement”

(3) "CNN Contributor"

(4) "Indentured Servant in Limbo”

(5) "Disgrace to the Female Gender"

(6) All of the Above.

Dick Armey Diagnosed with a Terminal Case of

Moral Mange